Monday, November 17, 2008


I have a full day ahead of me, and I feel ready to meet it. I had a whole hour to spend reading my Bible this morning, which felt soooo wonderful. I don't always make enough time to do that before breakfast.

By the way, ever since Saturday I've kept asking myself, "who in their right mind could read Hosea and not understand God's heart?" It's all there - judgment for sin, warning of wrath to come, pleas for repentance, and promises of enumerable blessings for those who walk in righteousness. The last two chapters, especially, just bleed with emotion. Who can read those words and doubt that God longs for His people to love and obey Him?

I guess you can tell that I finished reading Hosea on Saturday. :)

I can't get over how amazing God's Book is. How can paper and ink be so alive?

It's strange that such a beautiful book should be so often put aside for lesser things. When I have my Bible open on my lap in church, for instance, I feel as though I could eat it up. I don't just read the text for that sermon, but many of the surrounding verses. Sometimes I flip to other portions on the same theme and read them. I feel as if I can't shut the covers. But of course I'm in public, and can't just sit there and read the whole book from cover to cover. I promise myself to sit down and have a good long read when I get home.

And then I get home.

And then other things come up, and I end up never sitting down to have that good long read. I just wait until my reading time the next morning.

And, of course, in the morning I turn to my bookmarked page and read my planned chapters for the day, then pray and go off to my work. That ravenous hunger is pushed to a back burner in my mind.

Why do I feel as though I should feel guilty for taking the time to satisfy a hunger like that? If it were a fluffy novel, now, and I was neglecting my chores to pursue its pages, I ought to feel guilty. But God's Word?

If I were still in school, and I had a reading assignment, I wouldn't feel guilty about setting aside several hours to cozy up in a chair and engulf myself in history. Those hours would be considered well-spent.

So I tell myself that, if I could do it with a history book, surely it's right to do it with the Bible.

But then there's the sad fact that I'm no longer in school, and I have more responsibilities. I don't have several hours every day to spend reading anything. I just don't.


I guess I'm just thinking on paper - uh, screen - this morning. I'm wondering if I could make time, and just don't, or if it's true that I have less time in my life. I'm wondering how life will be when I become a wife and mother, and have even less time in the morning.

I'm wondering where the balance is between being practical and giving in to every whim of desire. I'm wondering if it's possible to do good things at the wrong time. I'm wondering if all of this is just an excuse for a lazy me.

I don't know.

...Wait. I do know one thing.

I know that I waste many minutes every day. Every day I "give in" in some area, and spend precious time doing something frivolous.

What if I were to use that time for reading?

Silly Amber. How can you complain about not enough time, when you are wasting time in other areas of your day? Get the horse before the cart, Girl, and live like you talk. You'll make time if it's important enough to you.

Okay, folks, I'm signing off now, because talking to myself on world wide web is a little too personal for my tastes.

No comments: