Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Letter to Someone I Know

Dear Friend,

You are my friend.

You make me sad.

Every time you talk about yourself, it's wrong.

When you talk about your looks, you mock. You can catalog - and will, if asked - each detail of imperfection in your body. You can't give a compliment to someone else without bringing your body into the equation. Their hair is exactly what you always wanted. It must be so much easier for them to find clothes that fit than it is for you.

When you talk about your brains, you laugh sarcastically. You can't talk about a computer without explaining that you aren't a techy. You can't talk about your hobbies without explaining that you aren't an expert. When someone asks for advice you backpedal out of the conversation as fast as you can.

When you talk about your talents, you awkwardly insist, as fast as you can get the words out, that you have none.

Can't you see? Can't you hear?

So it's all about you, is it?

Beneath the shy laugh, the weak smile, the altered tone of denial, it's so easy for others to catch it:

You are proud. You are suffering. You are wounded. You have seen yourself as what you wish you were, and you guess how others see you. The difference between the two tears you apart. You cannot bear that the difference should be there.

And so you go through life apologizing. Comparing. Trying to show how sorry you are that you aren't what you want to be. Making sure everyone knows that you are aware of how short you fall.

And, that, friend, is exactly what you are. Aware. Self aware. So self-aware.

I feel your pain. I hear the grief in your voice. But it is pride masquerading as pain, and I wouldn't be a friend if I didn't tell you that. Because I've been there too. And it hurts. I know.

But pride is pride. Pride is sin!

Let me whisper to you, with the voice of experience and the heartthrobs of well-wishing;

Let it go

Let the truth be what it is, and put yourself outside of the truth.

We all know how wrong it is to be constantly telling people you're wonderful. It's equally wrong to be constantly telling people you're awful.

Just let it go.

If you are ugly, so be it - God has a purpose for you no one else can match. If you are gorgeous, so be it. You have a purpose and use for your looks that you would do well to find, that you might not waste what you've been given. If you are brainy - use them!

Just be who you are. Reality is not what you imagine you could be, nor what you imagine others see you as. Reality is what is.

Be content. For He Himself has said that He will never leave you.

If He's given you gifts, don't pass the buck.

If He hasn't given you the gifts you want....

...get over it!


Get over it.

You've got other things.


Enjoy those.

Look at Him. At what He has given you.

And enjoy those gifts. Accept them. Admit them. Bask in them. Be verbally grateful for them.

'Cause I see them. Others see them. We'd love to know you see them.

It would make things so much easier on everyone.

Your friend