Advice for the unmarried

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil." Proverbs 4:23-27

What do those verses mean to you?

Do you know what I think? I think God put those verse there especially for unmarried people. I think it's His solution to the crusade of crushes, flirting, daydreaming, castle-building, and discontentment that runs rampant in even our Christian circles. And even in our own lives, sometimes.

I mean - think about it: it's all there.

Vs. 23 - Guard your heart. Use diligence. Why? Because that's where your life source is. That's where who you are stems from. And you want it to be pure and good and focused solely on Christ.

Vs. 24 - Don't speak boldly and flirtatiously. In fact, don't say anything that could be counted as unfitting to a disciple of Christ. Put such things far away from you. Let it be completely out of character for you to be boisterous and loud and giggly and attention-grabbing.

Vs. 25 - Let your eyes be focused on one thing, and one thing only: Jesus. Let Him be your life and your goal, and your source of happiness. Keep your vision fixed on where He is, and where He wants you to be. Remember eternity. Look at life through His eyes, through His perspective. Don't get distracted.

Vs. 26 - Think about where you're going. Think about who you are. Don't wander into situations that you will regret later. Don't let life just happen to you; you have a purpose and a calling. Follow it. Follow Him. Let your habits and your life be rooted in godliness and obedience. Seek after wisdom with all your heart. Walk with your eyes open.

Vs 27 - Don't give in to temptation. Don't get distracted. When you wander off the path, forsake the byways quickly. Run from sin like you would a poisonous snake. Embrace truth, and walk with the knowledge that the path God has set for you - and His timing and His plan - is the absolute best.

See what I mean?

It's all there.

Nice of our Heavenly Father to put it so concisely, wasn't it?

A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #8

Today I am pleased to introduce my first guest blogger, and someone whom I love very much; my mother. I asked her to write the final post this week on self-control, and she kindly obliged. I can't wait to read her post myself!

A Handmaiden of the Lord...

...has control in the area of her time.

Amber has asked me to add to her blog this week about time control. I am not a pro in this area but I have learned a few things in my life so far that I can share for those interested.

I believe the biggest issue at hand is understanding that time is temporary and is God-given. The Bible tells us that our life is but a vapor that appeareth for a little while and then vanisheth away (James). We are also told to ask God to help us number our days (Ps. 90). So we are accountable to every day He allows us to live and serve Him.

Yesterday I was down all day with a migraine headache and total exhaustion. My husband told me to rest all day. I easily obeyed and today I can function again. There are times we just need to take for refreshment, whether in our physical, mental, spiritual being, or whatever seems to be putting us to the limit.

If we are too busy to spend a good time with our Lord in prayer and His Word we are too busy. I still remember a lesson I learned in my late teens from an older woman in my life who said we should spend at least the same amount of time, if not more, on our inner beauty in the morning as we do on our outer beauty. Wow! If we count the minutes between opening our eyes and being adorned for the day and then count our minutes with God, how do we fare? I guess my greatest word here would be to keep our minds on Him during our day.

Then we can make to-do lists. I really enjoy writing down things and crossing off things as they get done! It's a great feeling to see the list disappear.

A simple thing I do is set a timer for things I want to get done quickly. I also set the timer upstairs for laundry buzzers in the basement I might not pay attention to otherwise.

I like to think of 2-3 things I can do at the same time if possible. I heard once of a lady who brushes her toilet bowl while she brushes her teeth. I personally cannot quite stomach that one, but I can sprinkle cleaner in the tub while I clean the sink. I always put laundry in before doing morning dishes. I can write letters or notes while my children are doing writing or reading lessons. I can make time to help my husband in the garden or play catch with my son. Like Amber has shared, self control is asking God's help to make sure our bodies know they are under our direction, not the other way around.

Having time for people is more important to God's kingdom than having to wrestle with daily clutter and dirt. If we can manage a good rule of cleaning day by day we will be pleasantly surprised at the extra time we can take for those we love or those who need to be loved. We are in a spiritual battle and it definitely hits our clocks too. It's okay to let some things slide if eternity is in view. I know my house has had less attention when I had babies and toddlers. Now I see much fruit from it all - even though I often thought I was failing to "get it all done." God understands and will bless the heart that seeks Him.

Priorities in every area of our life should be laid at the feet of the Master and then be done diligently as unto Him and not unto men. Time is a precious gift and we are all given the same daily amount, but not the same number of days. May the Lord help us all to waste it less and strive to please Him more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thanks, Mom, for taking the time to write this, and for helping me in my daily life to see how I can improve my time management. Ladies, would you believe I used to let the laundry machine sit empty while I did dishes? I still do, sometimes. :)

Housework isn't the only place I need to learn to balance, but it's a good place to learn the concept of time management. If I can clean a tub and sink at the same time, I ought to be able to cook supper and wash dishes at the same time, or check my email and study Spanish at the same time. :)

Speaking of time, I have some sewing that is calling my name, so I'd better go for now. May you all have a blessed - and profitable - day!

A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #7

Self-Control is...

...siting down and making myself write a post when I'd much rather be off the computer.

But I said I'd write 5 posts this week, so I will. :) But y'all will probably be glad to get a break from my long-winded posts that I've been writing lately. This will be short and sweet.

(Next week I plan to share photos of the projects I sewed for Christmas. Stay tuned!)

A Handmaiden of the Lord has...

patience.

Yes, perhaps the ultimate area of self-control. I heard a mother explain patience to her child like this;

"Wait with a smile."

Us older folks don't really need to be told what patience is. We know what it is, and we know we are to have it. Of course the Bible is full of verses telling us to cultivate patience:

"Now we exhort you, brethren, ...be patient toward all men." (1Thess.5:14)

"And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;" (2Tim.2:24-25)

A verse that really taught me a lot about patience doesn't even contain the word patience. Right before reading it, I was complaining about how my younger siblings tried my patience, and I guess in my mind, their wrong-doing gave me a right to be impatient. Then I read this:

"They angered him also at the waters of strife, so that it went ill with Moses for their sakes:
Because they provoked his spirit, so that he spake unadvisedly with his lips." (Ps. 106:32-33)

This verse makes it quite clear that the Israelites were provoking. They were in the wrong.

So Moses "spake unadvisedly."

And God punished him.

Whoops. There go my excuses.

A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #6

A Handmaiden of the Lord is...

...not a glutton.

Yes - I'm actually going to write about gluttony; the avoided word that we all joke about. I've never in my life heard a sermon on gluttony, and I've heard very few people talk seriously about it, but it is mentioned in the Bible.

The fact is, the Bible talks about gluttony in the same breath as drunkenness, (Prov. 23:21, Deut. 21:20) and associates it with disobedience. (Deut. 21:20) In a series about self-control, how can we omit a post on gluttony? For that's really all gluttony is - an inability to control our fleshly appetites.

The opposite of gluttony is described by Jesus in Luke 12 :

22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
23 The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.
24 Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?
25 And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?
26 If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?
27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?
29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.
30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.
31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

"The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment." How many times I have repeated that to myself! 'Specially when surveying my stuffed bedroom closet.

The idea of self-control is to have moderation (Phil.4:5) , and to determine my actions, not simply react to my situation instinctively - for human beings instinctively sin.

Jesus spoke often of denying the flesh, and Proverbs 23 mentions gluttony like this:

1 When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee:
2 And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.

In context, these verses aren't forbidding fancy food - they are a warning to those who can't control their lust for riches. Appetite means more than just a hunger for food, you know.

I could have an appetite for filthy books or movies. Or an appetite for money. Or an appetite for excessive sports. Or excessive anything. And if I can't control that appetite, it's wrong.

That's it. If we can't control something, it has no business being in our lives, because we are to be "...Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ," according to 2 Corinthians chapter 10.

But....since we're on the subject, it might be a wise thing to consider gluttony as it relates to food. How many of us hardly ever fast from food, because we enjoy our food too much?

My hand is up.

How many of us eat that scoop of dessert, not because we're hungry, but to satisfy our taste buds?

My hand is up.

How many of us could feed a family of four in India for an entire day on what we eat in one meal? I once read a book written by a Indian preacher who visited America, and I could hear the disgust in his voice as he wrote that the average American church-goer could feed a family in India for one day on just what they eat at one fellowship meal.

My Dad puts it this way; "Do you eat to live, or live to eat?"

I'm not saying we ought to become monks, and torture our bodies, but is your body subjected to you? ...Or is it the other way around? Can you tell it what to do, or do you comply with any and every demand it sends out?

Twice in my life, I've tried what I call "the Daniel Diet." Not "diet" as in the latest fad, but "diet" as in "this is what I'm eating." I went for a week without sugar, bread, pasta, condiments, sauces, etc. Just water, fruit, veggies, eggs, honey, and oats. That was it.

Why? To see if I could do it. To tell my body who is boss.

Fasting is a very Biblical thing to do. I have fasted when a prayer request burdened my heart excessively, but I have also fasted just to remind my body that "life is more that meat." I believe both types of fasting have a spiritual benefit.

Today, after a talk with some of my family last night about this topic, some of my siblings and I decided to go for 1 day consuming just liquids. And so far we've done it - despite the fact that pizza is on the lunch menu. :)

Food isn't the only thing I've fasted from. Several years ago, I had a fascination with novels. Not a mild interest, and not a healthy love for a story, but a ravenous, read-four-350pg.-books-in-one-night-even-if-it-takes-me-'til-midnight-and-I-have-to-hide-my-lamplight-from-Mom-and-Dad type of fascination. The books I were reading were almost all written by Christian authors, and they weren't books I would have hidden from my parents, but the time I spent on them was the problem.

One Sunday during a service, God convicted me of disobeying His command to "redeem the time, because the days are evil," and I made a commitment to Him that I would go without novels for one year.

I kept a journal devoted specifically to that adventure in my life, and reading it even now brings back all those emotions so vividly. Those were terribly hard months. I was literally breaking an addiction, and I had "with-drawl symptoms." I had emotional upheavals, and sometime I would lay on my bed and cry because I had to struggle so hard to maintain control of what books I was reading.

But I made it. What's more, that year broke the hold novels had on me. And it also gave me a huge increase in my love for God's Word.

The benefits of self-control are eternal, and so huge that I can't possibly write about them adequately. I know I need to increase control of my appetites in many areas still...but I know it is possible to control anything with the help of the Holy Spirit. Nothing is beyond His control. So I take courage.

...For now, I must get back to work, because I sit surrounded by stacks of clothing. I've been weeding through my closet this morning, and I'm pleased to say it's much thinner than it was, but I have a lot more work to do still.

So off I go!

Rules for Participation:

Each of you ladies - old and young - who read this blog have insight that you can contribute for the edification of the rest of us. Particularly those of you who are older in the faith...but even younger sisters can have words of wisdom. I would like to humbly request your active involvement in this series.

In the comment section of each post, I would like each of you to do one of two things;

~ 1: If you do not have a blog, please leave your thoughts directly in the comment section.

~ 2: If you have a blog, please go there and write a small post containing your thoughts on whatever quality is under discussion here. Make it Biblical; share verses the Lord has used in your heart. The world is full of opinions - we don't need more of that. We need more of the Lord.

Then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comment section. (To make it easier for us to find the right post, please link directly to the post, not your front page.) If you would like to, please direct your blog readers here so that they can find more discussion, from other readers.

Surprise! A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #5

A Handmaiden of the Lord has...

Temperance...

...Otherwise known as Self-Control.

I bet you thought I forgot about this series, didn't you? Never fear - I haven't. I've just been waiting for the right timing to pick it up again.

In the meantime, I've had a few new ideas come to me. This week, I want to write about Temperance, a fruit of the Spirit, which is certainly something a Handmaiden of the Lord ought to have.

But it's such a broad topic. Very broad. And not one that I'm an expert in, by any means!

Yet it's an important topic. Very important. And discussion of it can hardly be unprofitable.

I plan to do a series of posts about self-control this week, Lord willing. They will hardly scratch the surface, but in each of the five posts, I hope to cover a different aspect of self-control. As a bonus treat, I've asked my mother to write the Friday post, on an aspect of self-control that is perhaps the most difficult, and which she is much more fit to write about than me.

I don't really like the term "self-control;" I much prefer "temperance." Since when were human beings able to control themselves without the help of God? Self-control is non-existent. We are either a servant to sin or to the Lord - controlled by one or the other, but certainly not by ourselves. However, I understand that in general conversation, "self-control" can refer to the power God gives His child to stay on the right path, so I'll use "self-control" and "temperance" interchangeably in these posts.

For today:

A Handmaiden of the Lord has poise.

What an old-fashioned word, right?

The word poise makes me think of a princess. ...Or at the very least, a grand Victorian beauty. Poise is associated with grandness, richness, and an uppity class - at least in my mind. I never associated it with self-control until lately.

Lately, I've been thinking that perhaps poise is a pleasant, rather than prideful, thing. Aren't we princesses of the highest King? And if we are to have self-control in our lives, shouldn't it be an outer self-control? I mean, really, if a person can't see your self-control, do you really have any worth speaking of?

Here's a definition of poise that I just found in an online dictionary:

1: a stably balanced state : equilibrium poise between widely divergent impulses — F. R. Leavis>2 a: easy self-possessed assurance of manner : gracious tact in coping or handling ; also : the pleasantly tranquil interaction between persons of poise poise of the meeting> b: a particular way of carrying oneself : bearing , carriage

synonyms see tact

A balanced person - now there's a rare thing indeed! But does not Paul tell the Philippians "let your moderation be known unto all men"? (4:5) That's balance. Apparently, it's also poise.

We all know what poise is not.

The shy young girl, standing against the wall at a gathering. Her eyes flit from group to group, hesitating, and unsure whether to laugh with her fellows or not. She starts toward one cluster of girls her own age, then steps back against the wall again, the picture of awkwardness. An older woman takes pity on her and approaches the wall where the self-banished girl leans. She attempts to make conversation, but is answered with monosyllables and small sighs which betray how uncomfortable the girl is. Everything about the girl, from her posture to her clothing, instantly tell an observer that she is not "in."

Do we also know that poise is not this?:

The flamboyant young thing, wearing her latest glittery purchase, whose giggle reaches all corners of the room. She has no trouble making friends, and her conversations - though they consists of much more talking than listening - are always the liveliest in the room. The envy of shyer females, her tongue can trip along from subject to subject without the slightest effort. As soon as she entered the room, she headed straight for the largest circle, and was accepted with much noise and elation. Like a windup toy, she seems unable to stop herself from constant laughter and talk.

I think the most educational thought about poise I've ever received came from our Pastor during a sermon.

He was telling about something he used to teach his children. "Even his girls," as he put it.

"Walk with authority. Walk like you know where you're going - even if you walk straight into a brick wall."

That doesn't mean we become know-it-alls. And it doesn't mean we become rough.

It just means that

if you're going to do something, do it on purpose.

Don't flit around the room, hesitating, unsure of how to act. Don't laugh just because. If you're going to walk a room, have a purpose once you get to the other side. If you're going to laugh, laugh because something is truly wholesome amusement. We are children of the King. Determine what is right, decide what you must do, and then have the courage - and self-control - to carry it out.

This means that when you're terrified of walking up to those visitors and making them welcome, do it anyway. And do it graciously.

This means that when someone throws verbal mud in your face, know how to react, and carry that out gently and peacefullyy. "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." (Col. 4:6)

This means that when you have an opportunity to witness, your feet have been "shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace." (Eph. 6:15) beforehand.

This means that when being introduced to someone, you forget your own awkwardness and treat them with the kindness you know you must.

This means that at a gathering, you do your best to make everyone there welcome - even at the expense of your own feelings.

This means that you refrain from talking when you know others wish to speak - even if that perfect story is on the tip of your tongue!

This means that you are balanced. Stable. Prepared for anything life might throw at you. Rudeness, shyness, new situations, unkindness....nothing should be able to throw you off balance and behave in a way that you hadn't planned. All your behavior is pre-meditated, and you have determined beforehand to be kind, gracious, tactful, etc.

You are fixed on the rock, and that rock is Christ.

This means, "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it." (1Peter3:8-11)

A gracious woman retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches.
(Proverbs 11:16)

Rules for Participation:

Each of you ladies - old and young - who read this blog have insight that you can contribute for the edification of the rest of us. Particularly those of you who are older in the faith...but even younger sisters can have words of wisdom. I would like to humbly request your active involvement in this series.

In the comment section of each post, I would like each of you to do one of two things;

~ 1: If you do not have a blog, please leave your thoughts directly in the comment section.

~ 2: If you have a blog, please go there and write a small post containing your thoughts on whatever quality is under discussion here. Make it Biblical; share verses the Lord has used in your heart. The world is full of opinions - we don't need more of that. We need more of the Lord.

Then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comment section. (To make it easier for us to find the right post, please link directly to the post, not your front page.) If you would like to, please direct your blog readers here so that they can find more discussion, from other readers.

A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #4

A Handmaiden of the Lord is...

... industrious

I've been sewing for almost two days straight.

Really.

On Tuesday morning, I was at my machine by 7:30. After a little while, I took a 30 minute break for breakfast, and was back at my machine again as soon as I was done. Several hours later, I took a 30 minute break for lunch, and then was back to my machine.

An hour or two before supper time, I finished all the machine work on my project, and was ready to start on the extensive handwork that needed to be done before the project was finished.

I was tired of being indoors on a beautiful fall day. The sky was clear blue, and the leaves were like glowing gems littering the ground. I took about an hour to go outside and trim a hedge that has needed to be cut for several weeks. It felt so good to finally get that job done. Even nicer was the break from being indoors.

Right after that, Mom and I had to run out on a brief errand. We got back right before supper.

After supper, I was able to sew for an hour or two on my bed before turning in.

Wednesday morning. I slept late, because of the time I had gone to sleep, but right after breakfast I sat on my bed and sewed. My hope chest, which sits right beside my bed, quickly became covered with loose threads, a pincushion, ribbon, pattern pieces, elastic, scissors, spools of thread, and everything else that goes along with a sewing project.

Except for a lunch break, I sewed straight through the day. Oh how cramped my legs became! I only stopped in time to eat supper at 5:30. Right after supper, we went to prayer meeting at our church. When we got home, around 9:30, I picked up my sewing again.

I finished the project before I fell asleep last night.

Now...why have a told y'all this story?

Well, for several reasons. First, to explain why I haven't posted on here since Monday. Second, I thought the example went well with the next topic in our "Handmaiden of the Lord" series.

Not because I was industrious. Actually, although I've known I had a deadline for this project for almost a month, I waited to get really serious about sewing it until the middle of the week before last. The pressure of the past two days was entirely my fault. I didn't plan ahead enough to know how long the project would take me.

I suppose I just wanted y'all to know why the topic of sewing is in the forepart of my mind. Now, to the topic of industry.

When I speak of industry in the context of being a handmaiden of the Lord, I am thinking about the way a woman furthers the productivity of her home. I am thinking about being entrepreneurial. That is really my topic today. Industriousness is just the character quality that can cause a woman to be entrepreneurial.

You can all guess what verses I found to go along with this post: Proverbs 31.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

These verses (pardon the awkward layout) just overflow with the spirit of industry. This woman is busy, busy, busy. She uses what she has to create more of what she needs. She does so many different things! And she's so generous with what she earns!

A woman should not be a drain on the household. That is a phrase that is my head quite often. Because I am a stay-at-home daughter, I have to deal with folks who think I am being a drain on my home. Thankfully, many people we know are very understanding, but there are also those who...well, I guess they think a girl must be at college or working in an office (or library or fast food place, or store) to truly be grown up or profitable. I think they honestly can't imagine what I find to do all day at home, now that I'm not in school.

Well, first things first; I'm not at home all day every day. In fact, I'm out quite a bit, I think. But that's beside the point. I could live 40 miles from the nearest city and still have a worthwhile life, because there IS a lot for me to do at home.

Let's forget about the basic upkeep of a home; cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare, etc. I can't handle two big topics at once. They point today is about being entrepreneurial. The woman in Proverbs 31 was contributing to her home in a very real way.

First, though, what is the point in being entrepreneurial? Is is to prepare us to be breadwinners? Hardly. I am not learning business skills so that I can provide for myself in case I never marry. I am learning business skills because I want to help my future husband in whatever calling he has, and because I want to help my father right now. My entrepreneurial efforts are quite profitable now, in the present. They are not a forlorn effort to prepare for the dreaded possibility of being left alone in the world.

This is a very important point. My work should be a sort of background work, branching off the desires of the head of the household. The talents and skills God has given me are to be used, and used creatively.

Secondly, being entrepreneurial is basically "having a home business," but I don't believe every woman needs to have one of those to qualify as a good woman of God. That's why I listed "industrious" as the topic of this post, not "entrepreneurial." A woman can contribute to her home in a variety of ways.

A penny saved is truly a penny earned. My mother doesn't have a home business, but she can make a grocery bill come out so low my mouth hits the floor by the checkout counter. If my father didn't have her frugal ways backing him up, he would probably have to be earning a third more money to be providing for his family. This is a skill I so want to inherit from my Mom!
Trading services for items, or visa-versa also keeps the household expenses down. Being careful not to waste does the same thing.

The whole point of keeping costs down, of course, is not to make our families rich. It's to make them more profitable. It's to make it possible for the head of the house to dream big, to give big, and obey big.

All that being said, however, the fact remains that the Proverbs 31 woman did have a home business of sorts, and it is evidently smiled upon.

So what can you do? I have just recently started sewing for a profit. I also teach sewing lessons. I used to tutor for a homeschooling mother. I occasionally do childcare.

The money I earn makes it possible for me to tithe and give, to purchase gifts for others, save money for the future, help missionaries, buy Bibles for other countries, and to buy most of my own clothing, shoes, hair stuff, etc. I'm not taking over Dad's job as provider, and I'm not trying to "strike out on my own." Dad knows that. I'm just trying to help the household, and further God's kingdom.

Money is a tool, and being able to earn it is wonderful, because of all that can be accomplished with it. I dream of the day I'll be able to give a LOT of money to mission work. That would make Dad and Mom so happy. It would make me so happy, because I love the One whose work I would be giving to.

In a practical sense, I'm not sure I could give much advice on earning money. You must earn from your angle, using your particular talents. You must make sure everything you are doing is right and biblical, and is being done with the right motive. You must retain the desire to be a woman, not a man. You must strive for excellence in what you do, so that the people you interact with will see that a Christian is honest and industrious.

You must go with the flow of your family. I love the fact that both of my parents were involved in the starting of my sewing business. Mom gave me the tools I needed to complete the setting up my sewing room, and kept encouraging me to start a business until I listened to her. Dad talks about me all over his workplace, and therefore got me my one of my first customers. He loves to "advertise" for one of his children. Knowing that he is proud of me, and is actively encouraging people to give me business give such solidity to me. I know that he approves of what I'm doing. I just couldn't run a business my parents disapproved of.

If any of my readers have more practical tips on the topic of earning money from home, I would sure love to hear them. Oh - I also would like to share this website, which sells business cards. Business cards are a valuable home-business tool, and this price is right!



(To read more "A Handmaiden of the Lord" posts, click here.)

Rules for Participation:

Each of you ladies - old and young - who read this blog have insight that you can contribute for the edification of the rest of us. Particularly those of you who are older in the faith...but even younger sisters can have words of wisdom. I would like to humbly request your active involvement in this series.

In the comment section of each post, I would like each of you to do one of two things;

~ 1: If you do not have a blog, please leave your thoughts directly in the comment section.

~ 2: If you have a blog, please go there and write a small post containing your thoughts on whatever quality is under discussion here. Make it Biblical; share verses the Lord has used in your heart. The world is full of opinions - we don't need more of that. We need more of the Lord.

Then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comment section. (To make it easier for us to find the right post, please link directly to the post, not your front page.) If you would like to, please direct your blog readers here so that they can find more discussion, from other readers.

This is only a small corner of Blog Land, and I know that I don't reach many ladies - at least not as many as I would like. But this topic - becoming a better Handmaiden of the Lord - is so important that I wish we could talk to thousands. If we start linking to one another, perhaps the word will get out, and we can reach more and more women who care about the Lord.

A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #3

A Handmaiden of the Lord is...

...gentle.

"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil." ~ Ephesians 4:26-27

"Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That you may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, and the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain." ~Philippians 2:14-16

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:7

"...To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men." ~ Titus 3:2

"For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." ~ James 1:20

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law." ~ Galations 5:22-23

"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." ~ Proverbs 16:32

"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." ~ Proverbs 13:10

"Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in anywise to do evil." ~ Psalm 37:8

"They angered him also at the waters of strife, so that is went ill with Moses for their sakes: Because they provoked his spirit, so that he spake unadvisedly with his lips." ~ Psalm 106:32-33

Gentleness. What do you imagine when you hear that word? What is a gentle woman like?

I was really a little amazed when I began looking for Bible verses that mention the topic of gentleness. There are many similar qualities a woman of God is supposed to have; submissiveness, humbleness, love, joy, peace...

...but they all seem to be involved in this trait, as if it is the outflow of the inward parts. A girl can't be gentle without being loving, or peaceful. Gentleness ties many other things together.

Unlike some spiritual qualities, this one transfers to the physical world very nicely and very obviously. I don't mean that love, joy, peace, and patience aren't shown in the natural world - they are. I just mean that being gentle takes a lot more bodily control.

We have all seen the girl or woman who is not gentle; she is harsh with children, noisy in her movements, and quick of temper. She is rough. Her voice is often raised, and people around her must walk as if close to a lighted fuse.

Not all folks who lack gentleness are this obvious. Some manage to hide their lack of it pretty well. Their body is as graceful as a ballerina's, and their voice controlled - most of the time. But every so often a leak is sprung, and their inward self bubbles out, all the more stinging for being pent up for so long.

The girl or woman who is truly gentle is that way only because the Spirit of the Living God has done a work in her heart. The deeper you dig into her heart, the more gentleness you find. There is no cover-up here; she is genuine.

If she becomes angry, she controls that anger, and does not say or do things she will be sorry for later. She does not use arguments and complains to try to change things. She just refuses to brawl. Her motions are controlled and purposeful. She does not lash out. Everyone thinks of her as gentle - and they know where she gets that from.

But how? How did this fruit of the Spirit blossom so beautifully? Why do I have such trouble with it?

I don't think the gentle woman's gentleness is something she works at "putting on." Can you imagine going into your kitchen and saying, "Hmm, I sure wish this room smelled like freshly baked cookies. What can I do to imitate that smell?"

Honestly. Just bake some cookies! Then the good smells will be a natural outcome.

Likewise, peace and contentment, and joy and security in a woman's heart will make her naturally gentle.

The area of gentleness I struggle with the most is with my family. When Mom asks me to do something I don't want to do, or my siblings are trying my patience, those are the times I want to blow through the roof. If I'm going to raise my voice or (yikes) stomp my foot, those are the times I'm going to do it.

And I always have a good explanation. "He really was being difficult!" "She was totally unfair!" "She was downright rude to me!"

The verses that help me the most with this problem are Psalm 106:32-33. Here, the Bible refers to the time Moses disobeyed God, lost his temper in front of the whole nation of Israel, and therefore was punished by not going into the Promised Land.

And do you notice what it says? Moses was provoked. The people really were being awful. He had, as we would say "every reason" to loose his temper.

So he did.

And God punished him.

When that first struck me, I felt horrible. I knew that this meant that God didn't look at how big the provocation was - He expected me to obey anyway. And His Word does command me to be gentle. I was thinking that if I had a good reason, I could blow my top. He was saying that the reason had nothing to do with it.

A gentle woman is so beautiful. Just to watch her live is a pleasure. She really shows the love of Christ. And a gentle woman is what God tells me to be. It is a high standard. But by the grace of God, we can become gentle handmaidens in the midst of a perverse and crooked nation, among whom we will shine as lights in the world.



(To read more "A Handmaiden of the Lord" posts, click here.)

Rules for Participation:

Each of you ladies - old and young - who read this blog have insight that you can contribute for the edification of the rest of us. Particularly those of you who are older in the faith...but even younger sisters can have words of wisdom. I would like to humbly request your active involvement in this series.

In the comment section of each post, I would like each of you to do one of two things;

~ 1: If you do not have a blog, please leave your thoughts directly in the comment section.

~ 2: If you have a blog, please go there and write a small post containing your thoughts on
whatever quality is under discussion here. Make it Biblical; share verses the Lord has used in your heart. The world is full of opinions - we don't need more of that. We need more of the Lord.

Then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comment section. (To make it easier for us to find the right post, please link directly to the post, not your front page.) If you would like to, please direct your blog readers here so that they can find more discussion, from other readers.

This is only a small corner of Blog Land, and I know that I don't reach many ladies - at least not as many as I would like. But this topic - becoming a better Handmaiden of the Lord - is so important that I wish we could talk to thousands. If we start linking to one another, perhaps the word will get out, and we can reach more and more women who care about the Lord.

A Handmaiden of the Lord, Post #2

A Handmaiden of the Lord is...

...a good witness.

Whew! What a weekend!

On Saturday, my family, as well as some others from our church, traveled to Charleston, West Virginia, to attend a Way of the Master conference.

Therefore, since this topic is very much on my mind, I decided to choose "a witness" as the next quality for discussion in this series. (To see earlier posts, click here.)

Again, please pause and pray before you continue reading.

Here are references for the verses I found, that deal with this quality. (I know there are many more!) Be sure you get your Bible and look these up! Don't just read the references. :)

~ II Tim. 3:15-17
~ I Peter 3:1-2
~ III John 22-23
~ Prov. 11:30

Now, to tell you about Saturday...

...For those of you unfamiliar with "The Way of the Master," it is a teaching found in the Bible and has been brought to much limelight through a ministry called Living Waters.

In a nutshell, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron - co-hosts of a radio show, authors of books, and the two main speakers at these conferences - are just urging the church of America to get back to Biblical evangelism.

Modern evangelism tells the sinner "come to Christ just as you are; say this prayer, and you'll be saved." It's like a fire insurance policy. Modern evangelism is afraid to use words like "law," "judgment," and "wrath." It is very consumed and focused on getting the sinner to accept Christ's payment for sin.

There's only one problem: this gospel message assumes the sinner knows he's a sinner. It parades a cure without first bewailing the disease. It ignores the magnitude of the sinner's offense against a holy and righteous God.

Biblical gospel says very clearly that mankind is dead without Christ. We have no hope. Jesus used the Ten Commandments over, and over, and over again, to show people how flawed and sinful they were. Only when they were completely broken and contrite would He share the good news of mercy and forgiveness for sins. Check it out for yourself! Study Jesus' method. (John 4:1-30, Mark 10:17-22, 46-52, John 7:36-50, Luke15:17-24, Matthew 23:11-15) To the humble sinner, he offered "grace." To the proud sinner, it was always "law."


Here are a few highlights from the conference:

Eleven Phrases that Lead to False Conversion
(Oh yes, there is such a thing. Did you ever notice how many people want to label everyone as a "backslider," instead of applying the biblical principle of "no fruit=not saved"?)

1. “Hell fire preaching” ~
See Romans 2:4. While we must warn the sinner of his danger from eternal judgment, FEAR is not the right motivation for salvation. Fear of God, yes...and to some extent, a fear of hell is in order. But this motivation alone is not enough. Be careful when using this phrase.

2. “Just believe” ~
What is this supposed to mean; "JUST believe"? Even the demons believe - and tremble! Belief is not enough. It must be accompanied by repentance.

3. “Accept Jesus” ~
We don’t accept Jesus, Jesus accepts us. No, this is not about Calvinism or being an Armenian. That's not the issue for the moment. The issue is "who is in charge, us or Jesus?" Is He a beggar, standing outside our "heart's door"? WE fall down at HIS feet asking for acceptance, not the other way around.

4. “God shaped hole” ~
Jeremiah 17:9. Modern evangelism says "you have a hole in your heart that only Jesus can fill."

Maybe.

Maybe not. Maybe the sinner is happy the way he is. Maybe he likes his sin. Maybe he isn't sad and longing for "a better life."

It really doesn't matter if he has a hole in his heart or not. The point is, he has sin in his heart, and only Jesus can cure that.

5. “Jesus plus!” …..prosperity.

If we tell the unsaved "Come to Jesus and all will be well - you'll always be happy & fulfilled and at peace - the abundant life!" we are setting them up for problems.

Why?

What we have told them is simply not true.

Try preaching that gospel in China or in Middle Eastern countries where Christians are regularly thrown in prison. Can you picture the apostle Paul telling that to someone, as blood dripped down his back from a whipping he had just received?

Yes, we are promised an abundant life. Abundant doesn't automatically = perfect. Abundant means FULL. ...I don't think Paul was ever bored - do you? We must be careful not to promise anything the Bible doesn't promise. In the Bible, Christians are assured they will receive temptations, tribulations, and trials - but the end makes everything else worth it!

6. “Come to Jesus and get joy & goodies”
Faith! Love! Peace! Come to Christ, and have all this! ...Um, yes. But fruits of the Spirit should not be used as a draw card.

7. “Decisional Regeneration” ~
Are we saved because of a decision? Again, who is King here, anyway? A decision does not save you - Jesus saves you.

Now, yes, He does promise to save ALL who come to Him. It's not as if you can humble yourself before Him, ask for salvation, and be refused...But just because He is so merciful doesn't mean we should act so flippant about His acceptance of us! The attitude of "I decided to follow Jesus, and was saved because of that," magnifies the sinner, instead of the Saviour.

8. “Make Jesus your Lord & Saviour” ~

...Um....right... So, Jesus is up in Heaven looking down at us, saying "Oh goody! Now someone has made Me Lord and Saviour! I get to be Lord today!"

Come on, folks! He IS Lord & Saviour!

9. “Commit to Jesus”~

Imagine this: a mighty, powerful enemy has ten huge cannons pointed at you, loaded and ready to fire. At any moment you will be engulfed in flames from their barrage.

Suddenly, the Commander in Chief of the opposing forces rides out in front of the cannons, and says He will unload the cannons if you will join His side. Not because you have a single pistol to add to his force, but because He has had pity on you, and cares about you.

Do you commit to Him, or do you surrender? I should hope you'd surrender. THEN you can swear you allegiance to Him, and commit your loyalty to Him.

10. “It’s easy to believe”~

Beg your pardon? Easy? No it’s not! Well, okay, maybe it's easy to believe in your head - like the demons, "believing and trembling." Belief that leads to salvation is another matter. Did any of you come to Christ without the Devil putting at least a dozen excuses in your mind and hindrances in your path?

11. "Ask Jesus into your Heart"

-is not found anywhere in the Bible

-leaves out repentance

-leaves out "believe"

-Again, it presents Jesus as a beggar, waiting at our heart's door. (By the way, "heart's door" isn't mentioned in scripture, either.)

These are eleven phrases that were discussed at the conference, with my own comments summarizing what was said. My own family and church have talked about these or similar phrases before, and agreed that they didn't align very well with the Biblical gospel, but to some of you reading this, the idea might be quite new. Please, don't become defensive or offended by what I've written, but take a moment to think about it.

Another topic under discussion was fruit in a believer's life. I couldn't help but smile when I heard the word "fruit," thinking of the name of my blog. I don't have time to delve into this very deeply, but here are the major points:

The 5 Signs Of A True Convert (Believer)

1. Fruits of Repentance - Matt.3:8

2. The Fruit of Good Works - Col. 1:103.

3.The Fruit of Thanksgiving - Heb. 13:15

4. The Fruit of the Spirit - Gal. 5:22

5. Fruit of Righteousness - Phil. 1:11

I hope some of you take the time to look up those verses. Of course, these fruits save no one, but a true believer will have these fruits, to some degree, displayed in his life. Self examination is healthy - and commanded in Scripture. It is also good to know these so that we may gently ask others to examine themselves, when we know they are not saved, and we are trying to get them to listen to our witness.

There are many people in the western world who have been spoken to about Christianity, and "prayed a prayer," but have no idea what it is to be a true Christian.

This is terrible.

It is worse than terrible - it is a catastrophe. And it is mostly our fault. We must be careful to examine what gospel we are preaching!

As handmaidens of the Lord, let us commit to witness for Him with all our hearts - the right way.

I wish I had time to write more about this, but I've already been working on this post for two days, and I really ought to publish it. I must depend on you who are participating in this series to help me out by adding further discussion.

Rules for Participation:

Each of you ladies - old and young - who read this blog have insight that you can contribute for the edification of the rest of us. Particularly those of you who are older in the faith...but even younger sisters can have words of wisdom. I would like to humbly request your active involvement in this series.

In the comment section of each post, I would like each of you to do one of two things;

~ 1: If you do not have a blog, please leave your thoughts directly in the comment section.

~ 2: If you have a blog, please go there and write a small post containing your thoughts on
whatever quality is under discussion here. Make it Biblical; share verses the Lord has used in your heart. The world is full of opinions - we don't need more of that. We need more of the Lord.

Then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comment section. (To make it easier for us to find the right post, please link directly to the post, not your front page.) If you would like to, please direct your blog readers here so that they can find more discussion, from other readers.

This is only a small corner of Blog Land, and I know that I don't reach many ladies - at least not as many as I would like. But this topic - becoming a better Handmaiden of the Lord - is so important that I wish we could talk to thousands. If we start linking to one another, perhaps the word will get out, and we can reach more and more women who care about the Lord.

Because I've waited too long:

I've finally decided to begin that series I keep talking about. I've been praying about it quite a bit, not exactly sure how to begin, or how to do this, but this morning I just felt like I've done enough talking, and I'd better start some doing.

For those of you just joining, let me explain; this series of posts is being launched for the express purpose of helping us ladies who claim the name "Christian" to become better Handmaidens of the Lord. I've been searching my Bible for all the verses I can find on that topic, and I invite you to join me in doing this.

Each post will cover a certain quality that women of God are supposed to have, and will hopefully have some edifying discussion on that point. (Just for the record, I know that there will be much left unsaid - but, even if I did know everything [which I don't], who can cover an entire topic in one book, let alone one blog post?)

Here's the part I'm most excited about: each of you ladies - old and young - who read this blog have insight that you can contribute for the edification of the rest of us. Particularly those of you who are older in the faith...but even younger sisters can have words of wisdom. I would like to humbly request your active involvement in this series.

In the comment section of each post, I would like each of you to do one of two things;

~ 1: If you do not have a blog, please leave your thoughts directly in the comment section.

~ 2: If you have a blog, please go there and write a small post containing your thoughts on
whatever quality is under discussion here. Make it Biblical; share verses the Lord has used in your heart. The world is full of opinions - we don't need more of that. We need more of the Lord.

Then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comment section. (To make it easier for us to find the right post, please link directly to the post, not your front page.) If you would like to, please direct your blog readers here so that they can find more discussion, from other readers.

This is only a small corner of Blog Land, and I know that I don't reach many ladies - at least not as many as I would like. But this topic - becoming a better Handmaiden of the Lord - is so important that I wish we could talk to thousands. If we start linking to one another, perhaps the word will get out, and we can reach more and more women who care about the Lord.

Now... since those technical details have been said, let us begin.

A Handmaiden of the Lord

To begin, please pause for a moment and say a prayer for both my heart and yours. I really want to grow through studying the Word of God, and I'm sure you want the same.

Now...out of a list of 46 qualities - which is by no means an exhaustive list - which one should be mentioned first?

Perhaps this first post should deal with a quality that I haven't put on the list yet. It is quality that combats a danger that is very near.

I first realized this danger back when I was...oh, 16, I guess. I had written a very loooong journal entry about womanhood. Consumed with the goal of becoming a woman of God, I had taken the time to set down exactly what I thought a Handmaiden of the Lord should be like, and the nick-picking details I came up with were quite rigid.

Things like this:

"...a woman lives for others. Her own desires are ALWAYS considered last..."

"...a woman has no such thing as a need, except for God. She knows how to go without..."

"...for her, the golden rule is a way of life. She does not even THINK unkind thoughts..."

"...a woman is always cheerful..."

"...a woman never complains..."

"...she never shrinks from work, but meets it joyfully, eagerly..."

"...all the tasks she does are done well..."


Looking back at that list today, I realize that the things I listed were quite good... but there was something wrong. In the days following the time I wrote that list, I strove with all my might to be perfect. And of course I failed.

Which made me miserable.

And that drove me to write this addition at the end of my journal entry. I thought it would be a good start to this series, so I have typed it out, with a few minor edited points:

"...God is teaching me many things. Lately the lessons seem to be about balancing the things I have written here. I am never going to be the perfect woman here on earth - that is simply fact. I will never find the perfect woman either, because she simply does not exist.

"Writing a list of regulations is dangerous. Whenever I extend from God's basic standard there is a danger of becoming snobbish, judgmental, and also depressed, because I don't meet my own standards. This is something I have been struggling with. I have started to realize that the joy of the Lord must be my strength. Living in His joy and in His Word will produce all these qualities in some amount. This leaves room for variation.

"Each woman is different, and blossoming in God's timing, rather than trying to fit another's mold, will produce what God intended.

"So, now that I have written these 'regulations,' 'descriptions,' 'qualities,' I say 'okay, that was nice for a reminder or goal. Now, forget about the list and concentrate on Him. Live, breathe, and feast on His presence. Never forget that my purpose in life is to bring Him glory, Just bask in that thought. Commit myself to the Lord, and let Him shape the clay.'

"In this way - and, I am convinced, this way only - will I become a true HANDMAIDEN OF THE LORD."

Not a bad reminder, as we start this series. Let us remember the sum of the whole matter: "Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." (Ecclesiastes 12:13)

What about y'all? Have there been times when you struggled with this issue of "legalism"? There is a balance between holy living and being a pharisee. I know that rules are right and good; God has given us many commands. But creating our own is dangerous. It could work out, but it could also create unnecessary heartache.

During this series, I want to be very careful to base every thought on commands that come from the Lord, not men. I want y'all to hold me to that, and remind me if I stray off.

...Because looking into the law of the LORD is a beautiful thing. O how I love your law, Lord! The meditation of it is my delight! The Psalmist was right on.

Let's search for that joy.