I hope you miss me.
But please be patient. You have no idea what life is like right now.
In 5 short weeks, somehow I've managed to schedule the following:
- 3 Weddings (1 out-of-town)
- 3 Wedding rehearsals
- 8 Dresses to be finished (6 of them bridesmaid dresses, with all but one having 27 pieces each)
- 2 Wedding Showers (1 hosted by me)
- 1 Day-trip to a conference (can't wait!)
- Time to practice wedding music (when?)
- Typical bridesmaid duties (honors, really!)
- 1 Vet appointment
- 1 Chiropractor appointment
- Shopping for wedding showers
- Hopefully helping 1 friend move
- ....And normal life duties, like running two home businesses, taking care of my puppy, doing the dishes, going to church, and trying to find time to work on my book manuscript.
I'm thankful to be involved in each of these things (except maybe the dishes. :) - especially the weddings. So exciting! But my time is VERY tight right now, and when I do get free time, I spend it on other things....requiring less thought than blogging.
But I thought I should pop in and let you know what's going on.
What's happening in your life right now? I know y'all are a bunch of busy, hard-working ladies! I'd love to hear about your adventures and projects!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
A Cool Thing
When was the last time you took a good look at someone close to you? A parent, for instance? Have you ever stepped back and saw your mother or father as another human, rather than your mother or father?
As I've entered into my adult years, those moments are occurring more often. I'm realizing that, just like me, Mom and Daddy are having new experiences all the time. They didn't get a practice run, to hone their skills, then decide to hit rewind and do life again - this time with kids. It doesn't work like that.
More than that - my parents are people. When was the last time I tried to get to know them as people, the way I'd try to get to know a new friend?
I thought of this tonight as I watched Mom play badminton with one of my sisters. I stood on the deck, head tilted to one side. With my eyes squinted, I could imagine I saw in the gathering dusk, not a mother, but a young girl, playing on a side lawn in New York, years ago.
From what I understand, Mom could hold her own quite nicely with the neighborhood boys in most any sport, be it softball, kickball, or ping-pong. She was quite the tomboy back then. And musical, too - spending hours practicing clarinet or guitar. Now she never plays anything - just listens to us, and encourages us to practice.
I never stopped to think, until the last few years, about mothers having hobbies. After all, is that allowed? They cook, and raise children, and play taxi, and counsel daughters and sons, and make appointments, and help their husbands, and clean the house, and organize the schedule,....and a million other things that we couldn't do without. ...But do you mean mothers actually have playful little quirks, and likes and dislikes, and hobbies and inside jokes, and secret dreams and desires....just like me?
You mean she's just like any other woman....like me, in fact? She may be super, but she's not a super woman, immune to the little details that make up a real person?
Does it sound odd that such a fact has dawned on me slowly, over the last several years? But it has.
And you know what?
I like it.
It's like when you read a book by an amateur, and it's okay, but the characters are flat, 2-dimensional, predictable things. They all sound the same...you know what they're going to do before they do it...they sound like bad actors, reading a script with too much emphasis in the wrong parts....They are people because they have a head and two legs, but deep inside you know they aren't people.
Then you open the covers of a really good book, written by a master storyteller; and the characters jump off the page to walk and breathe in the room around you while you listen and watch, spellbound. You know, deep inside, that these....these, my friend, are people.
And I've finally woken up to the fact that my parents are people. Wonderful, living, emotional, history-filled, genuine people. They were children. They were young adults. They met and fell in love. They had to learn how to be a husband and wife to each other.
And God actually gave them babies! He sent one after another....and my parents had to learn how to change diapers and wipe baby food off chubby cheeks. They had to stumble through groggy days because of short, noisy nights. Then they learned how to teach, and how to counsel, and comfort, and lead. All the while that I was growing up....so were they.
God gave me to these two people. He could have picked anybody....but He picked them.
It's the coolest thing.
As I've entered into my adult years, those moments are occurring more often. I'm realizing that, just like me, Mom and Daddy are having new experiences all the time. They didn't get a practice run, to hone their skills, then decide to hit rewind and do life again - this time with kids. It doesn't work like that.
More than that - my parents are people. When was the last time I tried to get to know them as people, the way I'd try to get to know a new friend?
I thought of this tonight as I watched Mom play badminton with one of my sisters. I stood on the deck, head tilted to one side. With my eyes squinted, I could imagine I saw in the gathering dusk, not a mother, but a young girl, playing on a side lawn in New York, years ago.
From what I understand, Mom could hold her own quite nicely with the neighborhood boys in most any sport, be it softball, kickball, or ping-pong. She was quite the tomboy back then. And musical, too - spending hours practicing clarinet or guitar. Now she never plays anything - just listens to us, and encourages us to practice.
I never stopped to think, until the last few years, about mothers having hobbies. After all, is that allowed? They cook, and raise children, and play taxi, and counsel daughters and sons, and make appointments, and help their husbands, and clean the house, and organize the schedule,....and a million other things that we couldn't do without. ...But do you mean mothers actually have playful little quirks, and likes and dislikes, and hobbies and inside jokes, and secret dreams and desires....just like me?
You mean she's just like any other woman....like me, in fact? She may be super, but she's not a super woman, immune to the little details that make up a real person?
Does it sound odd that such a fact has dawned on me slowly, over the last several years? But it has.
And you know what?
I like it.
It's like when you read a book by an amateur, and it's okay, but the characters are flat, 2-dimensional, predictable things. They all sound the same...you know what they're going to do before they do it...they sound like bad actors, reading a script with too much emphasis in the wrong parts....They are people because they have a head and two legs, but deep inside you know they aren't people.
Then you open the covers of a really good book, written by a master storyteller; and the characters jump off the page to walk and breathe in the room around you while you listen and watch, spellbound. You know, deep inside, that these....these, my friend, are people.
And I've finally woken up to the fact that my parents are people. Wonderful, living, emotional, history-filled, genuine people. They were children. They were young adults. They met and fell in love. They had to learn how to be a husband and wife to each other.
And God actually gave them babies! He sent one after another....and my parents had to learn how to change diapers and wipe baby food off chubby cheeks. They had to stumble through groggy days because of short, noisy nights. Then they learned how to teach, and how to counsel, and comfort, and lead. All the while that I was growing up....so were they.
God gave me to these two people. He could have picked anybody....but He picked them.
It's the coolest thing.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Meet the Distraction:
It's time for me to confess a major reason for my late absence on this blog.
A small object has been consuming a great deal of my thought and time. I haven't really visited y'all at all since obtaining this small thing.
I don't apologize. I mean....I do....but I don't. It was worth it. I think you'll understand what I mean:
Now, look at that little face, those tiny paws, and tell me it doesn't melt your heart. :)
My older sister, Heather, rescued a stray puppy shortly after marrying Eugene two and a half years ago. Dogs grow fast, and back in January, this puppy was no longer a puppy, and was attracting attention from not one but two neighborhood gentlemen. Ahem. :) The same week Heather gave birth to my adorable nephew, Daisy the dog got pregnant by two dogs. (Yes, that CAN happen!) Several weeks later, she gave birth to TWELVE puppies.
I've wanted a dog of my own for years. At first it was just a little girl saying "I want a puppy, Daddy!" Then I grew older, understood the responsibility (I thought), and recognized it was not the right timing for me to have a dog. I could almost feel God saying "wait." In November 2011, I felt the Lord saying it was okay for me to start thinking about it again, and I spent a lot of time wondering if it would ever be possible for me to have a dog. I've long studied dog-training as a hobby, and I longed to put my research into practical use. Plus, I wanted a companion. I love my family to death, but sometimes it's a bit lonely being the only older girl in the household.
Slight problem. Dad's always had a rule; one dog at a time, and only family dogs allowed. How could my dreams work? Time for prayer. I told God what I desired, but I also understood that my dreams weren't worth dishonoring my dad or disrupting peace in the family. At least, I thought that's how my attitude would be. But I guess I didn't know my own heart. The Lord had to do some open-heart-surgery before things were right between Him and me. Then I went to prayer again.
Well, through a small set of miracles (are miracles ever small?) both of my parents had a change of heart, and the very week Heather's puppies were old enough to leave their mother, I celebrated my birthday with what might possibly be the best present EVER:
May 14th, the evening of my birthday. Thanks, Heather!!!!
The puppies' mother, Daisy, was a pitbull-terrier mut, and at least half of them
were sired by what appeared to be a full-bred lab. Not sure what the father of the other ones was!
I picked her name even before I brought her home. That took awhile, deciding on a name. It had to be perfect. I knew I wanted a Hebrew word - I just love the sound of Hebrew. And I wanted something reflective of the lessons God was teaching me about my life. My sister Tiffany helped me go through the Hebrew section of the concordance, looking for words like "joy," "peace," "laughter," "gentle,"...and then we came to "friend, or companion."
"How do you say this word?" Tiffany asked.
"Let me see....'Reya.' Like 'ray-a.' What does it mean, again?"
"Friend or companion."
I thought for a minute. "That's it. We've found it. That's perfect. I love it!"
So Reya it was.
It took only two days for me to be overwhelmed by the thought of all that I was responsible for. I had committed to take care of this adorable creature for 12-14 YEARS! And she wasn't perfect. She was scared to go through doors and up or down steps, and had to go to the bathroom 4 times a night, and she thought 5:15am was the perfect time to start the day. And she wouldn't walk on a leash. And she had worms. And vets don't work for free.
But you know what? I loved Reya. Every time I looked at her, my heart swelled with the knowledge that she was mine. Mine alone. She depended on me for everything. Not only did I have to feed her, but teach her how to behave - even when to use the bathroom or sleep. Every time she chose to come lay down beside me and sleep on my feet, my pleasure knew no bounds. I knew she wasn't perfect. I knew she smelled like a dog. I knew she would misbehave before the day was over. But she was mine, and she knew it.
I don't smell the doggie breath. I don't mind that she misbehaves occasionally - though every time I must correct her, it breaks my heart. She can be terribly hyper, and that drives me crazy. I know her flaws, but I also see what I will make her. When I say her name, I know it is my name - the name I chose for her, and put upon her. Her behavior is shaped by my desires - I choose what is acceptable, and what is wrong for her. Her disobedience grieves me deeply, but it does not shock me - I expect it. She is a dog. I knew she would be that way. But I am changing her, ever so slowly. She is not just a dog; she is my dog.
Every little way she shows affection for me brings me more joy than I can describe. She has a little habit of coming close to me and laying her chin on my knee when she is unsure of something. I know her timid personality would naturally tell her to run far away, rather than go to a human for reassurance, but she comes to me, and stays still beside me, rather than running. That means the world to me. When I have a big sewing project, I'll often block off the kitchen doorway, and keep her in there with me while I sew at the kitchen table. I put her dog bed in one corner, and she usually takes a nap there, but never a sewing session goes by when she doesn't leave her bed eventually and come sleep at my feet instead. I want to sit there and cry all over my fabric.
He has. I can't begin to describe it.
I've often struggled with believing the kind of love God has for me. My personality is driven by a desire to people-please, and be perfect. That used to mean doing a lot of camouflaging, so my filth couldn't be seen. I even applied it to my relationship with my Savior. I knew I wasn't saved through works...but I thought I could be loved because of works. To be loved by Someone who has a full knowledge of my flaws and sin.....that wasn't logical to me.
Now it is. Now I understand. O, how great a Saviour I have! O, how He loves me!
Because I'm His. Because He knows my flaws, and chooses not to see them. He sees what He will make me - and what I am in Him, already. He sees His name upon me.
God showed this to me exactly two years ago, this month. He delivered me from 9 miserable, striving, never-good-enough-to-please-myself, depressing years, in July of 2010.
I thought then I understood.
Then I met Reya. And I didn't just understand.
All of the sudden....
I knew.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Eyes of Faith
Today I've been pondering the blessed assurance that I will not remain as I am forever.
Sometimes I fear change - most of the time, in fact - but I almost always have wanted myself to change. I want to be better, more loving, less selfish, more Christlike. I long to be less bothered by worry and stress. I want to be carefree, joyful, overflowing with life and love! I can see the picture in my mind's eye, but compared to my actual self.....well, the comparison is discouraging.
This week I have struggled with worry, and hated the fact, even while I was doing it. I realize I should be joyful that I am struggling - struggling means life. If I were to lay down and accept these feelings, now that would prove that I am dead, without the Spirit of life. But to fight - that proves who I am, and Whose I am.
So, truthfully, I'm glad I'm struggling, but I'm also tired. Why can't I be different? Why can't I be joyful all the time? Why must I be so depressing? Why can't I be one of those people who sails through life, rarely thinking deeply about it all, happily skimming the surface, as it were?
These were my thoughts yesterday and this morning. I felt doomed by the personality that I have. I sighed and wished I didn't have to keep myself company for an entire lifetime.
Then came that blessed reminder: God saved me to change me! He promised an abundant life. He commands joy - and He equips when He commands. He is not done with me yet.
I've been amazed, over the last year, to see how my own younger siblings are blooming and blossoming into such wonderful young people. The faults and flaws that were so (blush) annoying to me when they were little have, in many cases, been smoothed and softened by the lessons the Lord has been teaching them. I could almost feel Him nudging me; "See? Don't judge them until I'm done with My work - and I'm not done even yet!"
Today I felt that reminder applied to myself - or rather, I felt myself included in His work; "I'm not done with you yet, child! Do you honest think I would permit My own child to remain in such a sorry state her whole life? The idea! Give it time - I'm working out the flaws in your character, and the more you trust Me, the quicker the work will go. I promised to finish every work I begin, and, child, I started a work in you!"
Praise the Lord!
Sometimes I fear change - most of the time, in fact - but I almost always have wanted myself to change. I want to be better, more loving, less selfish, more Christlike. I long to be less bothered by worry and stress. I want to be carefree, joyful, overflowing with life and love! I can see the picture in my mind's eye, but compared to my actual self.....well, the comparison is discouraging.
This week I have struggled with worry, and hated the fact, even while I was doing it. I realize I should be joyful that I am struggling - struggling means life. If I were to lay down and accept these feelings, now that would prove that I am dead, without the Spirit of life. But to fight - that proves who I am, and Whose I am.
So, truthfully, I'm glad I'm struggling, but I'm also tired. Why can't I be different? Why can't I be joyful all the time? Why must I be so depressing? Why can't I be one of those people who sails through life, rarely thinking deeply about it all, happily skimming the surface, as it were?
These were my thoughts yesterday and this morning. I felt doomed by the personality that I have. I sighed and wished I didn't have to keep myself company for an entire lifetime.
Then came that blessed reminder: God saved me to change me! He promised an abundant life. He commands joy - and He equips when He commands. He is not done with me yet.
I've been amazed, over the last year, to see how my own younger siblings are blooming and blossoming into such wonderful young people. The faults and flaws that were so (blush) annoying to me when they were little have, in many cases, been smoothed and softened by the lessons the Lord has been teaching them. I could almost feel Him nudging me; "See? Don't judge them until I'm done with My work - and I'm not done even yet!"
Today I felt that reminder applied to myself - or rather, I felt myself included in His work; "I'm not done with you yet, child! Do you honest think I would permit My own child to remain in such a sorry state her whole life? The idea! Give it time - I'm working out the flaws in your character, and the more you trust Me, the quicker the work will go. I promised to finish every work I begin, and, child, I started a work in you!"
Praise the Lord!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
A Day of Wrath Working NOT
I simply must tell you about my day.
Oh yes - by the way, I know I've been slack with my blogging. What better way to get back into the swing of things than by giving you a laugh?
I've been told numerous times not to constantly use the internet as a place to vent, complain, and rant about your terrible moments or troubles. I agree. Bad idea. Pointless. Depressing for others.
I'm often tempted to do it. Don't think I gave in today, however. Oh no. I haven't. I've waited until the humorous side of the situation (there always is one) has struck me. Now I can write tongue-in-cheek, confidant that there is a point to it all.
So, about my day...
It began with me turning off my alarm clock. And going back to sleep.
For 1 hour and 15 minutes.
Looking back, I could have done without the extra sleep; it was filled with a strange and loathsome dream that hung around and irritated me throughout the rest of the day, if you know what I mean.
But I finally propped my eyelids open and fumbled my way to the kitchen. (I'm usually a morning person, so the mere fact that I was stumbling around groggily was not a good sign.) I knew I had exactly 30 minutes to fix breakfast and eat it; today was a treadmill schedule.
I fixed myself an egg and ate it without too much drama. But I was still hungry, so I grabbed some cereal and a banana, and went to the fridge for milk. Mom asked me to get her a grapefruit while I was there. In the process of trying to hold one banana and grab one pitcher of milk, I dumped a bowl full of shredded turkey.
All over the floor.
Shut fridge door. Fetch broom and dust pan. Explain to mother and sister how I made such a mess. Clean up mess. Return to fridge for grapefruit. Open door.
Jump as bottle of ketchup hits the floor.
I should have guessed right then and there that the day was going to be interesting.
I read James chapter one this morning, and claimed verse 20 as my key to the day, "For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." I even highlighted it. I asked God to help me be sweet-tempered today - if, by some rare chance, I was tempted to be angry or loose my temper. As I replaced my journal on the shelf, I thanked Him for making me naturally laid-back.
HAH!
Did you hear me?
HAH!! The irony grips me.
Never, ever, do that. Today, without any particular regard to order of importance, I have suffered the following:
- Tried to pack a order for our business, and could not locate the needed item.
- While preparing to leave the house to go pick strawberries for a local farm, I could not find my boots, and subsequently was late in leaving.
- Before I left the house, my mother told me at least seven times to "be careful on those back roads!" To which I replied every time, "I will!"
- I've broken my sunglasses, so the drive was accomplished with a lot of squinting into the morning sun.
- Told my mother I wouldn't get cold, and then proceeded to freeze for the first 1/2 an hour while picking strawberries
- Was assigned to pick my brother up from work and made it there 20 minutes LATE.
- Also caused my sister to arrive at piano lessons 10 minutes late.
- Wanted VERY badly to do a certain activity, and was deprived of the opportunity because I had to rush home and get ready to leave again for a 2:00 appointment.
- Returned home frantically.
- Was told the appointment was not until 3:00.
- Was also told I should NOT have left my sister at my last location.
- Every time I entered or left the house today, a certain younger sibling has been banging away - skillfully, but noisily - on the piano just inside the front door. Which is also just outside my bedroom door. You do not understand this unless you have younger siblings who play an instrument.
- Made it to the appointment on time, but without a needed item. ....It was sitting at home on my bed.
- On the drive home, a water bottle spilled all over my shoes and purse.
- Back at home, I entered my bedroom and heard a "clunk" of a random item falling off the shelf in my closet. Just because I came into the room, I'm sure.
Hmm....listed like this, the events seem moderately amusing, but not angering. In real life, however, I lost patience when I couldn't find my boots and was repeated warned about back roads. I practically hyperventilated about being late. I cried oceans of tears over loosing the opportunity to do the activity I had to miss because of my "2:00 appointment." Smacked myself in the head for forgetting the needed item.
...But by the time the water bottle spilled all over my purse, I had to laugh. This really hasn't been a bad day. I've had two wonderful conversations about the Lord with two ladies I met while out and about. I didn't accomplish much in the way of business, but I got some good reading done. I loved picking strawberries. I spent a lot of time with my siblings. The weather is finally sunny here instead of cloudy.
I was silly to spend anger on these things. I was fully conscious that I had a choice; to hold onto the anger, or let go and relax. Sometimes I forget I have a choice, but not today. Today I knew it. Clearly.
It took me until about 2:45 to give in and "let go," but it was after that I was able to laugh. To find the humor. To look realistically at the situation and know my life was not ruined.
The wrath of man does NOT work the righteousness of God, and it doesn't do much for the good of the man, either.
Just a friend bit of advice based on personal experience.
Oh yes - by the way, I know I've been slack with my blogging. What better way to get back into the swing of things than by giving you a laugh?
I've been told numerous times not to constantly use the internet as a place to vent, complain, and rant about your terrible moments or troubles. I agree. Bad idea. Pointless. Depressing for others.
I'm often tempted to do it. Don't think I gave in today, however. Oh no. I haven't. I've waited until the humorous side of the situation (there always is one) has struck me. Now I can write tongue-in-cheek, confidant that there is a point to it all.
So, about my day...
It began with me turning off my alarm clock. And going back to sleep.
For 1 hour and 15 minutes.
Looking back, I could have done without the extra sleep; it was filled with a strange and loathsome dream that hung around and irritated me throughout the rest of the day, if you know what I mean.
But I finally propped my eyelids open and fumbled my way to the kitchen. (I'm usually a morning person, so the mere fact that I was stumbling around groggily was not a good sign.) I knew I had exactly 30 minutes to fix breakfast and eat it; today was a treadmill schedule.
I fixed myself an egg and ate it without too much drama. But I was still hungry, so I grabbed some cereal and a banana, and went to the fridge for milk. Mom asked me to get her a grapefruit while I was there. In the process of trying to hold one banana and grab one pitcher of milk, I dumped a bowl full of shredded turkey.
All over the floor.
Shut fridge door. Fetch broom and dust pan. Explain to mother and sister how I made such a mess. Clean up mess. Return to fridge for grapefruit. Open door.
Jump as bottle of ketchup hits the floor.
I should have guessed right then and there that the day was going to be interesting.
I read James chapter one this morning, and claimed verse 20 as my key to the day, "For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." I even highlighted it. I asked God to help me be sweet-tempered today - if, by some rare chance, I was tempted to be angry or loose my temper. As I replaced my journal on the shelf, I thanked Him for making me naturally laid-back.
HAH!
Did you hear me?
HAH!! The irony grips me.
Never, ever, do that. Today, without any particular regard to order of importance, I have suffered the following:
- Tried to pack a order for our business, and could not locate the needed item.
- While preparing to leave the house to go pick strawberries for a local farm, I could not find my boots, and subsequently was late in leaving.
- Before I left the house, my mother told me at least seven times to "be careful on those back roads!" To which I replied every time, "I will!"
- I've broken my sunglasses, so the drive was accomplished with a lot of squinting into the morning sun.
- Told my mother I wouldn't get cold, and then proceeded to freeze for the first 1/2 an hour while picking strawberries
- Was assigned to pick my brother up from work and made it there 20 minutes LATE.
- Also caused my sister to arrive at piano lessons 10 minutes late.
- Wanted VERY badly to do a certain activity, and was deprived of the opportunity because I had to rush home and get ready to leave again for a 2:00 appointment.
- Returned home frantically.
- Was told the appointment was not until 3:00.
- Was also told I should NOT have left my sister at my last location.
- Every time I entered or left the house today, a certain younger sibling has been banging away - skillfully, but noisily - on the piano just inside the front door. Which is also just outside my bedroom door. You do not understand this unless you have younger siblings who play an instrument.
- Made it to the appointment on time, but without a needed item. ....It was sitting at home on my bed.
- On the drive home, a water bottle spilled all over my shoes and purse.
- Back at home, I entered my bedroom and heard a "clunk" of a random item falling off the shelf in my closet. Just because I came into the room, I'm sure.
Hmm....listed like this, the events seem moderately amusing, but not angering. In real life, however, I lost patience when I couldn't find my boots and was repeated warned about back roads. I practically hyperventilated about being late. I cried oceans of tears over loosing the opportunity to do the activity I had to miss because of my "2:00 appointment." Smacked myself in the head for forgetting the needed item.
...But by the time the water bottle spilled all over my purse, I had to laugh. This really hasn't been a bad day. I've had two wonderful conversations about the Lord with two ladies I met while out and about. I didn't accomplish much in the way of business, but I got some good reading done. I loved picking strawberries. I spent a lot of time with my siblings. The weather is finally sunny here instead of cloudy.
I was silly to spend anger on these things. I was fully conscious that I had a choice; to hold onto the anger, or let go and relax. Sometimes I forget I have a choice, but not today. Today I knew it. Clearly.
It took me until about 2:45 to give in and "let go," but it was after that I was able to laugh. To find the humor. To look realistically at the situation and know my life was not ruined.
The wrath of man does NOT work the righteousness of God, and it doesn't do much for the good of the man, either.
Just a friend bit of advice based on personal experience.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Time Management?
Since losing my computer (temporarily, thank the Lord!) to a virus over a week ago, (...or was it two weeks?) I have been limited to using the family machine for all my computer-related activities.
Since I have two blogs, an online business, and lots of email correspondents, it's been challenging to keep up with everything while sharing the computer with everyone else. No longer can I plop down to work on something when I feel like it or if I just have a few minutes. Instead, I must wait until Mom and Dad are not using the computer, and if a sibling already has permission to be on, I must wait for them, as well. Then, when I'm on, I've got to be fast!
Maybe you don't have to worry about sharing your computer, but if you're like most of us, you know you give too much of your day to that Time Trap. You browse a little, jump from one site to another, and before you know it an hour is gone. Five minutes later, once you've gotten busy with something else, you remember what you really should have done while you were on the computer. That email that needs a reply. That website you meant to check. That quote you meant to research. And you spent all your computer time frittering around.
Sound familiar? Please tell me I'm not the only one who has had this problem.
So here's a tip for the day. A good way to make sure you get everything done on the computer in a timely manner is to think ahead of time, "what do I need to do on there?" and write it down.
As in; "old-fashioned-pencil-and-paper-writing-it-down." (Trust me. Sitting in front of the screen, you will never remember everything you meant to do on there. Something about that chair zaps your mind.)
Take that list with you to the computer, and begin by opening up a tab for each task you need to do. (Or windows, for non-Internet-related jobs.) One tab for your email, one tab for your blog, ect. (So many tabs open at the same time would drive my computer-savvy brother insane, but as long as your Internet connection can handle it, it DOES work splendidly to manange your time!)
Then start with the quickest task and do it.
Exit that tab. (Very important. Don't click onto another page, don't hop to another blog. EXIT THE TAB.)
Go to the next tab/task. Do it.
Exit that tab.
And so on and so forth until you've completed every task and are down to one tab. Now you know you've completed everything you need to do on the computer. If you have extra time, you can open up "fun tabs."
This principle of giving myself a "list of tabs" to accomplish at the beginning of my computer time, and working my way through them before moving on to "fun" computer time has really helped me make the most of limited time on the computer.
And, to be quite honest, even time on my personal computer is limited. I don't want to spend all day online. I have other things to do.
Do you find this idea helpful?
Since I have two blogs, an online business, and lots of email correspondents, it's been challenging to keep up with everything while sharing the computer with everyone else. No longer can I plop down to work on something when I feel like it or if I just have a few minutes. Instead, I must wait until Mom and Dad are not using the computer, and if a sibling already has permission to be on, I must wait for them, as well. Then, when I'm on, I've got to be fast!
Maybe you don't have to worry about sharing your computer, but if you're like most of us, you know you give too much of your day to that Time Trap. You browse a little, jump from one site to another, and before you know it an hour is gone. Five minutes later, once you've gotten busy with something else, you remember what you really should have done while you were on the computer. That email that needs a reply. That website you meant to check. That quote you meant to research. And you spent all your computer time frittering around.
Sound familiar? Please tell me I'm not the only one who has had this problem.
So here's a tip for the day. A good way to make sure you get everything done on the computer in a timely manner is to think ahead of time, "what do I need to do on there?" and write it down.
As in; "old-fashioned-pencil-and-paper-writing-it-down." (Trust me. Sitting in front of the screen, you will never remember everything you meant to do on there. Something about that chair zaps your mind.)
Take that list with you to the computer, and begin by opening up a tab for each task you need to do. (Or windows, for non-Internet-related jobs.) One tab for your email, one tab for your blog, ect. (So many tabs open at the same time would drive my computer-savvy brother insane, but as long as your Internet connection can handle it, it DOES work splendidly to manange your time!)
Then start with the quickest task and do it.
Exit that tab. (Very important. Don't click onto another page, don't hop to another blog. EXIT THE TAB.)
Go to the next tab/task. Do it.
Exit that tab.
And so on and so forth until you've completed every task and are down to one tab. Now you know you've completed everything you need to do on the computer. If you have extra time, you can open up "fun tabs."
This principle of giving myself a "list of tabs" to accomplish at the beginning of my computer time, and working my way through them before moving on to "fun" computer time has really helped me make the most of limited time on the computer.
And, to be quite honest, even time on my personal computer is limited. I don't want to spend all day online. I have other things to do.
Do you find this idea helpful?
Friday, March 30, 2012
Just a Thought...
Would you want the world to see the secret details of your heart and life?
What if your friends could investigate certain things about you?
Would you want them seeing your Internet history? Every page?
How 'bout your bookmarked links?
Your texting inbox and outbox?
The songs you have loaded on your MP3 player, or Ipod, or whatever you might use?
A list of all the books you have ever checked out from the library?
A time log of when you went to bed every night so far this year?
A list of everything you've eaten this year?
Would you want them looking at your bank account summary, and a list of all purchases you have made in the last 12 months?
Would you like the world to know every movie you've ever seen? Every book you've ever read?
What about a recording of every phone conversation you've ever had?
It has been in my mind lately that someday every secret thing will be made manifest, and what has been done in secret will be shouted from the housetops. I do have a best friend who knows not only everything I have seen and said, but also ever thought and considered. I'm going to have to face Him someday and give a reason - an account - for every idle word I've spoken, not to mention every moment I haven't redeemed.
To be quite honest, I don't want the world knowing everything in the above list. I've done some stuff I shouldn't have. I don't want people to think I'm a hypocrite; saying one thing and doing another.
But the reality is that it doesn't matter if the world sees it right now or not: I am what I am, in secret, or before others. Jesus knows that real me. He isn't taken in by my outward behavior. And if I would be ashamed for others to know "the real me," then I ought to feel a great deal of shame this very moment, for there is someone who knows "the real me."
That thought is very heavy and saddening. For, you see, I love this Jesus. I want Him to be pleased with me.
But even as my heart sinks, it skips a beat and remembers that Christ died for this very sinner who sits in this chair. He died already knowing that I would commit countless sins. And He has committed Himself to purifying me, and making me like Him. He's not going to give up. He shall complete whatever work He begins. He IS changing me, and He isn't going to get discouraged and give up. I am His, and that precious reality means I am forever His.
And, regal King that He is, He wants everything that is His to be the best. Including me.
So here I am, Lord Jesus. Take me, shape me, and teach me to do Your will. Thank You that You are honest with Me, and show me exactly who I am. And thank You for loving me in spite of all that, and removing the guilt for all of that.
I've never known anyone like You!
What if your friends could investigate certain things about you?
Would you want them seeing your Internet history? Every page?
How 'bout your bookmarked links?
Your texting inbox and outbox?
The songs you have loaded on your MP3 player, or Ipod, or whatever you might use?
A list of all the books you have ever checked out from the library?
A time log of when you went to bed every night so far this year?
A list of everything you've eaten this year?
Would you want them looking at your bank account summary, and a list of all purchases you have made in the last 12 months?
Would you like the world to know every movie you've ever seen? Every book you've ever read?
What about a recording of every phone conversation you've ever had?
It has been in my mind lately that someday every secret thing will be made manifest, and what has been done in secret will be shouted from the housetops. I do have a best friend who knows not only everything I have seen and said, but also ever thought and considered. I'm going to have to face Him someday and give a reason - an account - for every idle word I've spoken, not to mention every moment I haven't redeemed.
To be quite honest, I don't want the world knowing everything in the above list. I've done some stuff I shouldn't have. I don't want people to think I'm a hypocrite; saying one thing and doing another.
But the reality is that it doesn't matter if the world sees it right now or not: I am what I am, in secret, or before others. Jesus knows that real me. He isn't taken in by my outward behavior. And if I would be ashamed for others to know "the real me," then I ought to feel a great deal of shame this very moment, for there is someone who knows "the real me."
That thought is very heavy and saddening. For, you see, I love this Jesus. I want Him to be pleased with me.
But even as my heart sinks, it skips a beat and remembers that Christ died for this very sinner who sits in this chair. He died already knowing that I would commit countless sins. And He has committed Himself to purifying me, and making me like Him. He's not going to give up. He shall complete whatever work He begins. He IS changing me, and He isn't going to get discouraged and give up. I am His, and that precious reality means I am forever His.
And, regal King that He is, He wants everything that is His to be the best. Including me.
So here I am, Lord Jesus. Take me, shape me, and teach me to do Your will. Thank You that You are honest with Me, and show me exactly who I am. And thank You for loving me in spite of all that, and removing the guilt for all of that.
I've never known anyone like You!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I haven't deserted you...
...I've just lost my computer! Viruses are nasty. What diabolical mind would create something like that and send it out to ruin the lives of total strangers?
My laptop is in the shop right now, and I'm praying that I haven't lost all my files! I have stuff on there that I really, really, really don't want to lose. I've had the computer for 5 years, and I write books and run two businesses from it, so there's quite a bit of data on there!
I praise the Lord for what He is teaching me through this experience. Patience. Trust. Time management. Trust. Priorities. Trust. I am thankful for His loving heart, and His tender teaching!
But I'm still praying that I'll get my files back. Would you pray too?
Meanwhile, maybe you'll get a post or two, from my parent's computer....but not right now. :)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Three strikes....
...and I'm out.
Double points for almost bonking my head against a wall while leaning back on my bed five minutes ago.
Triple points for scratching myself with my own nails twice inside of ten minutes.
Accidentally, of course.
I also get points for giving into worry and fretting, for running away from problems instead of dealing with them, and for blaming other people when circumstances make me unhappy. Lots and lots of points.
And in this game, like golf (though I've never played the game and have no interest in it), we're trying for the lower end of the score card.
So, if I make mix my metaphors, I've struck out. So0000 glad it's bedtime! Kinda.
(Which, incidentally, means I should be in bed, not here, especially since I have to get up at 5:00 am [which is my own fault] but who's paying attention to little details like that? I could use another point.)
Don't you just love run-on parenthetical remarks?
I admit it; I am NOT writing this blog post because I have any remarkable bit of wisdom or advice to share, or a funny story, or a heart-warming tale. I'm clattering away at the keyboard because I need to release a bit of frustration and grief, and you poor readers are always so sweet, to hear me out.
I had "one of those days" today. From start to finish, things went wrong, I didn't have enough time to do what I wanted. The computer was slow, I woke up late, I didn't have ingredients, I double-booked my schedule...you know how it goes.
But that wasn't what was so hard. We all have days like that. Sometimes they just give us a day to laugh at ourselves, and everything is okay. Other times we learn through struggles, and we're okay.
I didn't feel okay.
All day long, a fluttering panic-y feeling was growing in my heart. Worry. Fretting. Anxious. I couldn't stop thinking about issues as small as, "WhatEVER am I going to find to wear tomorrow when my closet is empty and I don't have time to do laundry today?" or as big as, "How in the WORLD am I going to pay for everything I have to pay for next month?"
I was a failure. I knew it. I was miserable. My life wasn't going anywhere. I was on a treadmill and couldn't get off. I could feel my emotions getting the better of me, and that was what bothered me. Difficulties are a part of life, and it's just part of being an adult to expect them, but when I succumb to them instead of facing them, that.....that is horrible.
Sometimes the problems are not truly world-threatening issues - like "what am I going to wear?" Other times they are truly problems; like, "what are my customers going to think of me if I can't bake their order because I don't have the ingredients?!?!"
But my response is real in either case. If I fall into tears and frustration and worry because of clothes, it's just as much of a pit as if it were something more important. And I'm not supposed to live in pits. I'm a child of the King.
And I knew that. I kept telling myself that. "Snap out of it, Amber - you're silly to mope like this with all Christ has done for you!" But I didn't want to snap out of it. I was miserable and wanted to mope. ...Sorta.
The only verse that kept going through my mind was, "for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."
Okay, Lord. This is Your will. And that is Your will. And that too? Okay, that too. All this stuff is happening to me because You let it. And it's going to be okay. All right. Okay. If You say so.
I held onto that idea like a lifeline, for that is what it was.
I lived long enough to know that if I hold on long enough, all the sudden my eyes adjust and I can see the Son again. He is there all along, but I just have to be patient. It seemed a long wait today.
So I sat down to vent while I was waiting.
You know what's funny? As I wrote my list of "point achievements," I started noticing what I couldn't write down. Strange, huh?
I wrote down "Rotten Attitude," then thought "well, I was tired and sad, and sighed a lot, but I wasn't exactly rotten. God gave me grace to have several kind moments toward others, actually, now that I think about it." Backspace that.
I typed out "Being Lazy," and remembered the hour I wanted to spend doing something - anything - mindless on my computer, but instead forced myself to be glued to a chair working on measuring garments for my website. And I remembered the photos of those same garments I wanted to put off doing, and didn't. And I cleaned the living room. And printed out flyers for my bakery business. And wrote a blog post on my other blog. And made breakfast. And practiced my fiddle.
I may not have accomplished everything I wanted to today, but I know in my heart I wasn't lazy. That started a warm flutter in my chest.
Maybe today wasn't a waste. Maybe God answered my prayer of this morning - that He would use this day for His purposes. And tomorrow isn't going to be so bad - even if I have to get up at 5:00. God is in control. This is a beautiful life. The weather is gorgeous. My bedroom window is open. The crickets are chirping, and cool air is flowing through the screen. No cats fighting beneath it tonight, unlike last night. :)
God has whispered to my heart. Circumstances haven't changed. I don't have an extra hour in my day tomorrow, and I'm certainly no richer, but I'm okay. In fact...I feel a smile coming on. My first smile in several hours.
I did. I smiled. And what's this? Tears? I managed not to really cry today. But now I am. I'm happy. It feels so good to smile. It feels so good to let go and know that He is God. The big things, and the little things, are in His hands.
I think I'll sleep well tonight.
Double points for almost bonking my head against a wall while leaning back on my bed five minutes ago.
Triple points for scratching myself with my own nails twice inside of ten minutes.
Accidentally, of course.
I also get points for giving into worry and fretting, for running away from problems instead of dealing with them, and for blaming other people when circumstances make me unhappy. Lots and lots of points.
And in this game, like golf (though I've never played the game and have no interest in it), we're trying for the lower end of the score card.
So, if I make mix my metaphors, I've struck out. So0000 glad it's bedtime! Kinda.
(Which, incidentally, means I should be in bed, not here, especially since I have to get up at 5:00 am [which is my own fault] but who's paying attention to little details like that? I could use another point.)
Don't you just love run-on parenthetical remarks?
I admit it; I am NOT writing this blog post because I have any remarkable bit of wisdom or advice to share, or a funny story, or a heart-warming tale. I'm clattering away at the keyboard because I need to release a bit of frustration and grief, and you poor readers are always so sweet, to hear me out.
I had "one of those days" today. From start to finish, things went wrong, I didn't have enough time to do what I wanted. The computer was slow, I woke up late, I didn't have ingredients, I double-booked my schedule...you know how it goes.
But that wasn't what was so hard. We all have days like that. Sometimes they just give us a day to laugh at ourselves, and everything is okay. Other times we learn through struggles, and we're okay.
I didn't feel okay.
All day long, a fluttering panic-y feeling was growing in my heart. Worry. Fretting. Anxious. I couldn't stop thinking about issues as small as, "WhatEVER am I going to find to wear tomorrow when my closet is empty and I don't have time to do laundry today?" or as big as, "How in the WORLD am I going to pay for everything I have to pay for next month?"
I was a failure. I knew it. I was miserable. My life wasn't going anywhere. I was on a treadmill and couldn't get off. I could feel my emotions getting the better of me, and that was what bothered me. Difficulties are a part of life, and it's just part of being an adult to expect them, but when I succumb to them instead of facing them, that.....that is horrible.
Sometimes the problems are not truly world-threatening issues - like "what am I going to wear?" Other times they are truly problems; like, "what are my customers going to think of me if I can't bake their order because I don't have the ingredients?!?!"
But my response is real in either case. If I fall into tears and frustration and worry because of clothes, it's just as much of a pit as if it were something more important. And I'm not supposed to live in pits. I'm a child of the King.
And I knew that. I kept telling myself that. "Snap out of it, Amber - you're silly to mope like this with all Christ has done for you!" But I didn't want to snap out of it. I was miserable and wanted to mope. ...Sorta.
The only verse that kept going through my mind was, "for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."
Okay, Lord. This is Your will. And that is Your will. And that too? Okay, that too. All this stuff is happening to me because You let it. And it's going to be okay. All right. Okay. If You say so.
I held onto that idea like a lifeline, for that is what it was.
I lived long enough to know that if I hold on long enough, all the sudden my eyes adjust and I can see the Son again. He is there all along, but I just have to be patient. It seemed a long wait today.
So I sat down to vent while I was waiting.
You know what's funny? As I wrote my list of "point achievements," I started noticing what I couldn't write down. Strange, huh?
I wrote down "Rotten Attitude," then thought "well, I was tired and sad, and sighed a lot, but I wasn't exactly rotten. God gave me grace to have several kind moments toward others, actually, now that I think about it." Backspace that.
I typed out "Being Lazy," and remembered the hour I wanted to spend doing something - anything - mindless on my computer, but instead forced myself to be glued to a chair working on measuring garments for my website. And I remembered the photos of those same garments I wanted to put off doing, and didn't. And I cleaned the living room. And printed out flyers for my bakery business. And wrote a blog post on my other blog. And made breakfast. And practiced my fiddle.
I may not have accomplished everything I wanted to today, but I know in my heart I wasn't lazy. That started a warm flutter in my chest.
Maybe today wasn't a waste. Maybe God answered my prayer of this morning - that He would use this day for His purposes. And tomorrow isn't going to be so bad - even if I have to get up at 5:00. God is in control. This is a beautiful life. The weather is gorgeous. My bedroom window is open. The crickets are chirping, and cool air is flowing through the screen. No cats fighting beneath it tonight, unlike last night. :)
God has whispered to my heart. Circumstances haven't changed. I don't have an extra hour in my day tomorrow, and I'm certainly no richer, but I'm okay. In fact...I feel a smile coming on. My first smile in several hours.
I did. I smiled. And what's this? Tears? I managed not to really cry today. But now I am. I'm happy. It feels so good to smile. It feels so good to let go and know that He is God. The big things, and the little things, are in His hands.
I think I'll sleep well tonight.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Bliss
Sunday afternoon....
Four generations of my family together....Sunday dinner...laughter....discussion....
After lunch, Grandpa and Mom wash dishes together. Father and daughter, talking while they work.
Daddy and my three youngest siblings sprawl out on the nearby living room carpet and play a game.
My brother-in-law and the brother closest to me in age sit side-by-side on the plush sofa, heads together over a laptop, deep in a discussion of some sort.
I turn around a dining room seat to face the living room, where Heather cuddles her baby and Grandma sits near by. The three of us bounce from topic to topic, making remarks about whatever is on our minds. Sometimes we just sit.
Heather passes Byron to me. I let him snuggle into my shoulder, and I rock back and forth slightly. Conversation lags. I just enjoy the warmth and weight in my arms. I press my cheek against his soft hair, and hum contentedly.
I suddenly feel so rich. From the sunshine outside, to the radiance within, everything around me is satisfied. I am surround by family. I never dreamed my grandparents would live close enough to come over for Sunday dinners. I never imagined my sister passing me a baby boy that belongs to her. I couldn't have fathomed a brother-in-law who fits so well with our family. I can hardly believe my senses when they tell me my younger siblings have blossomed in such fantastic ways and grown into such fine young folks. All these riches have come to pass in such a short time.
And it's happened to me, of all people! I belong here, with these folks, in this family. I am one of them. They are mine. And I am theirs. This is our world. Who knows how long this golden age will last? No matter how many years, it will be but a vapor when it is passed. And I know that. But I do not think of it just now. For the moment, I am content to bask in the simple joys, and know that God will be just as present in the future as He is in the present.
And all I want to say, Lord Jesus, is thank You.
Four generations of my family together....Sunday dinner...laughter....discussion....
After lunch, Grandpa and Mom wash dishes together. Father and daughter, talking while they work.
Daddy and my three youngest siblings sprawl out on the nearby living room carpet and play a game.
My brother-in-law and the brother closest to me in age sit side-by-side on the plush sofa, heads together over a laptop, deep in a discussion of some sort.
I turn around a dining room seat to face the living room, where Heather cuddles her baby and Grandma sits near by. The three of us bounce from topic to topic, making remarks about whatever is on our minds. Sometimes we just sit.
Heather passes Byron to me. I let him snuggle into my shoulder, and I rock back and forth slightly. Conversation lags. I just enjoy the warmth and weight in my arms. I press my cheek against his soft hair, and hum contentedly.
I suddenly feel so rich. From the sunshine outside, to the radiance within, everything around me is satisfied. I am surround by family. I never dreamed my grandparents would live close enough to come over for Sunday dinners. I never imagined my sister passing me a baby boy that belongs to her. I couldn't have fathomed a brother-in-law who fits so well with our family. I can hardly believe my senses when they tell me my younger siblings have blossomed in such fantastic ways and grown into such fine young folks. All these riches have come to pass in such a short time.
And it's happened to me, of all people! I belong here, with these folks, in this family. I am one of them. They are mine. And I am theirs. This is our world. Who knows how long this golden age will last? No matter how many years, it will be but a vapor when it is passed. And I know that. But I do not think of it just now. For the moment, I am content to bask in the simple joys, and know that God will be just as present in the future as He is in the present.
And all I want to say, Lord Jesus, is thank You.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Never Say Never
I was walking through the Dollar Store when I saw it. (I know, I shop in the most glamorous places.)
It was sold in small packages, inside a flimsy cardboard box.
Chocolate Cream of Wheat.
Now, I love, love, love, chocolate, but I am no fan of cream of wheat. And the idea of adding chocolate...well, chocolate may be able to cover a multitude of faults, but not a multitude of wheat.
Disgusted with a capital "D". Never was going to try that one.
Well....remember I told you I'm going without refined sugars for two weeks? I was getting desperate for breakfasts without sugar.
A few weeks ago I soaked and coarsely ground some wheat berries. I hadn't used them for bread because our blender didn't grind them fine enough. They were sitting in a baggie in the corner of the refrigerator. I was hungry...I looked at the baggie, and thought...why not? I'll put a lot of maple syrup on it.
...Then I thought about chocolate.
I missed chocolate. Two weeks without chocolate is hard.
...But baking cocoa doesn't have sugar in it. Just cocoa.
Okay - long story short, I mixed a big scoop of baking cocoa with my home-ground cream of wheat, a big scoop of peanut butter, a splash of milk, and a generous drizzle of maple syrup.
Oh. Wow.
So. Good.
Never say never.
It was sold in small packages, inside a flimsy cardboard box.
Chocolate Cream of Wheat.
Now, I love, love, love, chocolate, but I am no fan of cream of wheat. And the idea of adding chocolate...well, chocolate may be able to cover a multitude of faults, but not a multitude of wheat.
Disgusted with a capital "D". Never was going to try that one.
Well....remember I told you I'm going without refined sugars for two weeks? I was getting desperate for breakfasts without sugar.
A few weeks ago I soaked and coarsely ground some wheat berries. I hadn't used them for bread because our blender didn't grind them fine enough. They were sitting in a baggie in the corner of the refrigerator. I was hungry...I looked at the baggie, and thought...why not? I'll put a lot of maple syrup on it.
...Then I thought about chocolate.
I missed chocolate. Two weeks without chocolate is hard.
...But baking cocoa doesn't have sugar in it. Just cocoa.
Okay - long story short, I mixed a big scoop of baking cocoa with my home-ground cream of wheat, a big scoop of peanut butter, a splash of milk, and a generous drizzle of maple syrup.
Oh. Wow.
So. Good.
Never say never.
Monday, February 27, 2012
New Recipe and a New Blog
Well, I'm doing it again.
Going without sugar for 2 weeks, that is. This time my two younger sisters are doing this with me, so it's been much more fun.
Last week I invented a new recipe for a breakfast without sugar, and I thought you might enjoy trying it, too:
Pumpkin Raisin Oatmeal
(Hey, you like Pumpkin Raisin cookies, right? So try it before you say "huh?")
(serves about 4)
- 2 cups quick oats
- 4 cups water (you can do less or more, depending on how thick you like your oatmeal.)
- 1 TBS kefir (or other acid substance, like lemon juice or vinegar, but if you use those decrease the amount to 1 tsp.)
Combine the above in a sauce pan with lid. Stir, cover, and let soak at room temperature overnight.
In the morning, uncover, place on burner over medium heat, and as it starts to warm, add the following:
- 1-2 capfuls of imitation vanilla extract
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1/2 cup pumpkin
- 1/3 cup molasses (you can do a little less, but I really love molasses)
- Spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger
Now, you should add the spices to taste, but remember that because oatmeal is mostly liquid, you'll need to add a LOT of spices to carry through the taste. Be very generous. I do about 1/2 tsp. each of ginger and nutmeg, and probably at least 1 TSB cinnamon....but I never measure, so those estimates may be wrong.
Anyway, add those ingredients, and cover the pot again until it begins to "pop" bubbles. You want it to boil, but keep an eye on it, because as soon as it starts boiling, uncover the pot and begin to stir constantly. You can turn the heat down. Stir for 2 minutes. The oatmeal should turn from looking like soup to...well...oatmeal.
Once you remove it from the heat, stir in a LOT of raisins. This is where you are really sweetening your oatmeal, and they are yummy, so add as much as you like!
Serve hot. Add milk if desired.
Let me know what you think! Don't expect the sugary sweetness of your typical store-bought flavored instant oatmeal packs. This is heartier, and packs more of other flavors, but I like it. If you really can't stand the absence of sugar, you could add a tsp. to the top of each bowl, and pour milk over it, and I'm sure it would be really yummy.
My sisters? One says she likes it as long as the raisins are there to sweeten it. The other doesn't like raisins, but she does love to add peanut butter to her oatmeal. I got her started on that, but I don't like peanut and pumpkin together. Oh well. Each to her own!
Oh yes - my post title said new recipe AND a new blog, didn't it?
Don't worry - I'm not quitting The Fruit of Her Hands. But I have started a new blog! It's all about....well, I'll let the title speak for itself:
Please check it out and let me know what you think!
Going without sugar for 2 weeks, that is. This time my two younger sisters are doing this with me, so it's been much more fun.
Last week I invented a new recipe for a breakfast without sugar, and I thought you might enjoy trying it, too:
Pumpkin Raisin Oatmeal
(Hey, you like Pumpkin Raisin cookies, right? So try it before you say "huh?")
(serves about 4)
- 2 cups quick oats
- 4 cups water (you can do less or more, depending on how thick you like your oatmeal.)
- 1 TBS kefir (or other acid substance, like lemon juice or vinegar, but if you use those decrease the amount to 1 tsp.)
Combine the above in a sauce pan with lid. Stir, cover, and let soak at room temperature overnight.
In the morning, uncover, place on burner over medium heat, and as it starts to warm, add the following:
- 1-2 capfuls of imitation vanilla extract
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1/2 cup pumpkin
- 1/3 cup molasses (you can do a little less, but I really love molasses)
- Spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger
Now, you should add the spices to taste, but remember that because oatmeal is mostly liquid, you'll need to add a LOT of spices to carry through the taste. Be very generous. I do about 1/2 tsp. each of ginger and nutmeg, and probably at least 1 TSB cinnamon....but I never measure, so those estimates may be wrong.
Anyway, add those ingredients, and cover the pot again until it begins to "pop" bubbles. You want it to boil, but keep an eye on it, because as soon as it starts boiling, uncover the pot and begin to stir constantly. You can turn the heat down. Stir for 2 minutes. The oatmeal should turn from looking like soup to...well...oatmeal.
Once you remove it from the heat, stir in a LOT of raisins. This is where you are really sweetening your oatmeal, and they are yummy, so add as much as you like!
Serve hot. Add milk if desired.
Let me know what you think! Don't expect the sugary sweetness of your typical store-bought flavored instant oatmeal packs. This is heartier, and packs more of other flavors, but I like it. If you really can't stand the absence of sugar, you could add a tsp. to the top of each bowl, and pour milk over it, and I'm sure it would be really yummy.
My sisters? One says she likes it as long as the raisins are there to sweeten it. The other doesn't like raisins, but she does love to add peanut butter to her oatmeal. I got her started on that, but I don't like peanut and pumpkin together. Oh well. Each to her own!
Oh yes - my post title said new recipe AND a new blog, didn't it?
Don't worry - I'm not quitting The Fruit of Her Hands. But I have started a new blog! It's all about....well, I'll let the title speak for itself:
Please check it out and let me know what you think!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day
I'm convinced I have the sweetest family in the world.
Need proof?
I'm sitting here at my computer, nibbling chocolate from my brother. Out on the kitchen table sits a vase filled with roses; from the same brother. Gifts to my sisters and myself. He gave some to Mom, too.
My parents gave me the nicest card ever today, wishing me a day filled with love, and telling me how much I am loved.
My youngest sister gave me two Hershey kisses, and a cookie dough spoon to lick - and a pink construction-paper card.
As I sat here writing, I had to get up and answer a knock on my bedroom door - my other sister stood there with a beautiful handmade card. And two more chocolate kisses. The red paper heart was filled with carefully-written words, all sweeter than the sweetest chocolate.
But it goes beyond today.
Yesterday Mom gave me an iron. An iron. Do you remember my last post? She read it, too. Little did I know she had an iron tucked away for my birthday. She impulsively, spontaneously, and generously, and lovingly, gave it to me yesterday. I used it for hours today, as I sewed, and I love it. My own iron! Incidentally, it does not spit water, and it does not have automatic shut-off; it will stay on for hours!
A couple of weeks ago, my older sister gave me a thank-you note, for a baby shower gift. But this was no routinely stated, stiffly polite, typical thank-you note. She took time, in her flowing handwriting, to list just about every single thing I've helped her with or given her during the entire time she was pregnant! She had noticed everything, and taken the time to remember it. And even write it out.
I was out with one of my brothers tonight, and we drove pass a brightly-lit store window in a plaza. I saw a dress I loved, and said I wished we could pass it again so I could see better how it was made. (Hoping to someday copy it.) Without missing a beat, that brother of mine turned around and drove pass the window again!
I'm telling you, I have the sweetest family ever. Every single one of them astounds me with their thoughtfulness and generosity. I know that's Christ in them. And I'm so glad He's in them. He makes our family work, ya know? Life would be so wrong without Him.
Today is Valentine's Day. I've heard it called "singles' awareness day." I don't really do much to celebrate Valentine's Day - maybe someday, when I have a sweetheart, I will. But I don't feel lonely or depressed today. I'm not single. I'm surrounded by a loving family unit, and they make my heart sing.
Did you see the sun today? Did you feel the breeze? Your Heavenly Father loves you, and He's showing you it every moment, if you'll only take the time to look!
Need proof?
I'm sitting here at my computer, nibbling chocolate from my brother. Out on the kitchen table sits a vase filled with roses; from the same brother. Gifts to my sisters and myself. He gave some to Mom, too.
My parents gave me the nicest card ever today, wishing me a day filled with love, and telling me how much I am loved.
My youngest sister gave me two Hershey kisses, and a cookie dough spoon to lick - and a pink construction-paper card.
As I sat here writing, I had to get up and answer a knock on my bedroom door - my other sister stood there with a beautiful handmade card. And two more chocolate kisses. The red paper heart was filled with carefully-written words, all sweeter than the sweetest chocolate.
But it goes beyond today.
Yesterday Mom gave me an iron. An iron. Do you remember my last post? She read it, too. Little did I know she had an iron tucked away for my birthday. She impulsively, spontaneously, and generously, and lovingly, gave it to me yesterday. I used it for hours today, as I sewed, and I love it. My own iron! Incidentally, it does not spit water, and it does not have automatic shut-off; it will stay on for hours!
A couple of weeks ago, my older sister gave me a thank-you note, for a baby shower gift. But this was no routinely stated, stiffly polite, typical thank-you note. She took time, in her flowing handwriting, to list just about every single thing I've helped her with or given her during the entire time she was pregnant! She had noticed everything, and taken the time to remember it. And even write it out.
I was out with one of my brothers tonight, and we drove pass a brightly-lit store window in a plaza. I saw a dress I loved, and said I wished we could pass it again so I could see better how it was made. (Hoping to someday copy it.) Without missing a beat, that brother of mine turned around and drove pass the window again!
I'm telling you, I have the sweetest family ever. Every single one of them astounds me with their thoughtfulness and generosity. I know that's Christ in them. And I'm so glad He's in them. He makes our family work, ya know? Life would be so wrong without Him.
Today is Valentine's Day. I've heard it called "singles' awareness day." I don't really do much to celebrate Valentine's Day - maybe someday, when I have a sweetheart, I will. But I don't feel lonely or depressed today. I'm not single. I'm surrounded by a loving family unit, and they make my heart sing.
Did you see the sun today? Did you feel the breeze? Your Heavenly Father loves you, and He's showing you it every moment, if you'll only take the time to look!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
How to Iron
Our iron and I have a love-hate relationship.
I use the thing a lot, of course, because of my sewing. And it's a very handy invention. I'm glad I don't have to stand over a hot stove every time I want wrinkle-free clothing or smooth fabric.
But I really can't stand our iron.
It's fussy. Nit-picky. Spits at me. Lets loose a puddle ...right on top of the skirt I'm ironing and want to wear to church in 30 minutes.
At first, I thought it was just him. Couldn't behave. Was defective.
A tiny part of my brain started beating me over the head with certain phrases I had read in the instruction manual for the thing. Specific instructions on how to fill the iron with water - and how NOT to fill it.
But our old iron - bless its dear departed machinery - could be filled with water at any time and any way and work just fine. Never ruined moisture-sensitive fabric. Never spit out rust-colored droplets on my white shirt. Why couldn't our new iron be just as friendly? It's new after all! High tech. Who care about instructions?
What's so hard about putting water in an iron, anyway? You just pour some in, being careful not to overfill, and wala! You're done. Why must the iron be unplugged? And why must it be cold? And why must it be sitting on a perfectly level surface?
I compromised. "Fine. When I run out of water in the middle of an ironing session, I'll unplug you before I refill you. But as for letting you cool and setting you face-down before filling you...no. Not happening. I'm in a hurry. I'll dump it in while you're sitting upright, and it's not too important to shut the "steam" switch off while I'm filling you, either."
He said "Yeah, right. If that's the way you feel, see what kind of results you get. How would you like a puddle of warm water leaking through the ironing board onto your bare feet?"
Actually, he didn't say that. And I didn't talk to him, either. I'm not that far gone. But I thought it. And I'm almost positive he thought it too. ...No, I can't lie. I do know irons don't think.
But on with my story. I finally got fed-up and desperate, and decided to do everything according to the book. Steam switch "off." Iron cool and unplugged. Sitting face down on a level surface. Water poured into spout at correct angle. Lid flipped closed. Iron plugged in. Heat turned "on." Iron heats up. Steam switched "on."
Big breath.
Ironing begins.
Iron spits NOT.
Clothes get steamed perfectly.
Amber sticks tongue out at iron.
...No, that part is a lie. Actually, what Amber did was sit the iron down and think to herself that she's a lot like that little machine. She's been given specific instructions on how to operate herself, and she doesn't bother reading the book. She fills herself with water, of course, but at her own pace and on her own terms. She doesn't bother to slow down and fill herself properly, and she sure doesn't humble herself face-down to receive that water. She likes to take it standing up, on the go, when she wants it.
And then I think that iron stuck his tongue out at me.
Aren't we like that, though? God has given us everything we need for life and godliness, in His Word. His Word is so precious that we cannot live life properly without it. Like an iron without steam. Many of us realize that, yet want to use His Word on our own terms, at our own pace. He didn't just give us His Word, then walk away - anymore than we would give a sharp sword to a child and tell her to go play. He has given us instructions on how to use it:
We are to be doers, not hearers only.
We are to meditate on it day and night.
We are to treasure it.
We are to obey it.
We are to receive it meekly.
We are to believe it.
We are to READ it. Often.
We are to hide it in our hearts.
We are to hear it.
We are to teach it to others.
Can you think of any other ways we are to use the Word of God? Any other commands? Any thoughts you'd like to share on the topic?
By the way, thank you for all the congratulations on the arrival of my nephew. We went to see him yesterday (again!) and I have to say I just adore cuddling him.
But...anyway...thoughts on an iron. Who knew you could be taught a lesson from an appliance? An enemy appliance, at that. :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I'm an AUNTIE!!!
Yes, it's true. My darling sister (and my beloved brother-in-law) have given me a nephew! My heart overflows.
New life is exciting, fun, and mysteriously common-place when you become a big sister at 6 or 7.
When a newborn nestles in the grocery cart of a stranger, it's precious.
When friends have babies, it's special, awe-inspiring, and sweet.
When your own sister gives birth to a new human - a physical blend of herself and her husband - a being who has never yet opened his eyes to the light of day before, never been hugged before, and has yet to learn all the amazing things of life...an individual who will one day go to Heaven or hell...a baby who belongs to you by right of love and blood, who fits your hands like two puzzle pieces finding each other...a new life, that has never happened before....
...That, my friends, is beautiful, solitary tear-drop of emotion, suspended in a held breath, and sparkling with billions of reflected rays of possibility. It is joy so sweet the sweetest honey would taste bitter on the tongue in comparison. It is an awe so overcoming that it leaves you powerless.
"Oh Lord, I thank You for life! For Your power to create and infuse life into new little bodies! For the construction of the family; that mysterious bond between parents, their offspring, and the third and fourth generations. Thank you for the precious privilege of being an aunt. Thank you for the blessing of living close by my sister and her little family. Thank you for new life in Christ. May this little boy meet You at an early age, and dedicate his life to Your service. Help me lead him to You!"
I knew from the moment Heather married that her first child would be a boy, and that he would be special to me. I was right. I never wavered from predicting a boy when Eugene and Heather told us she was pregnant, and the ultrasound only confirmed it. I could not wait to meet this little fella, and February seemed so far off. He ended up coming early, and since mom and baby both are well and healthy, I'm glad he came early. I was tired of waiting!
He arrived last Sunday night, and has been home for a week and one day now. Life has been a little disrupted, or I would have shared the happy news earlier. But when it's a choice between blogging or holding a baby, where is the contest?
When I held him in my arms for the first time last Monday, I instantly lost my heart to him.
...So...anything exciting happened in YOUR life lately?
Thank You, Jesus!!!
Monday, January 2, 2012
A Rock
I'm thinking about the house on the rock tonight.
Did you ever sing that children's song about the wise man who built his house on the rock, and the foolish man who built his house on the sand (which went "splat!" in the end)?
Jesus' illustration of houses on different foundations gives us a vivid example of how trust-worthy his law is. If we commit ourselves to "hearing these sayings of Mine, and doing them," our house - our life - will stand.
Whenever I hear those verses, my ear focuses on the words like this:
"...Whosoever hearth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock."
(Matt. 7:24-25)
That's great. It's wonderful. We can be confident in our foundation. But tonight, I read those verses again, and my eye caught a different theme:(Matt. 7:24-25)
"...Whosoever hearth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock."
Oh. You mean I should expect storms? I'm not a little child singing a song anymore. I've seen that life can be rough and unfriendly. But part of me wants to pull the covers over my head and pretend that the pattern of the ages is going to change somehow, and one human life (mine) will transpire without ever suffering loss, pain, or damage.
Then I read through some more verses, and I saw Jesus warning his disciples. The Son of man has nowhere to lay his head. Enter in the strait and narrow gate. You cannot serve both God and mammon. Not everyone who says unto Him, "Lord, lord," will enter into the kingdom.
I think He's trying to make a point. Life in His service will have trials. There will be floods, and wind. Money-back guarantee.
But that's what makes His assurance so precious. His Word will stand, like a rock - not just through rose gardens and sunshine, but through all the storms of a thousand lifetimes. And we can build upon it. By doing what He says.
Then I read through some more verses, and I saw Jesus warning his disciples. The Son of man has nowhere to lay his head. Enter in the strait and narrow gate. You cannot serve both God and mammon. Not everyone who says unto Him, "Lord, lord," will enter into the kingdom.
I think He's trying to make a point. Life in His service will have trials. There will be floods, and wind. Money-back guarantee.
But that's what makes His assurance so precious. His Word will stand, like a rock - not just through rose gardens and sunshine, but through all the storms of a thousand lifetimes. And we can build upon it. By doing what He says.
This year - what will it hold? Only my Father knows. I bet it will include some storms. But He hasn't left me without instructions on how to prepare. Do His Word. Obey His commands.
And I'll have a house that will stand through any storm.
The view isn't bad in the sunshine, either.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
My "Secondly" Blog Post
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I can't tell you how mine went, because I'm writing this post ahead of time, so I won't have to worry about it the week after Christmas. But I'm sure it was splendid.
If you've been reading my recent blog posts, you know the title for this one came from a post where I started a list of things I was going to talk about, and never made it past "firstly."
My "secondly" thing happened to be about New Years, so I decided to wait until after Christmas to write about it. After all, I'm the one who complains when stores start putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving.
New Years resolutions are the topic of many newspapers, magazines, and blogs this time of year. We all like the feeling of a fresh new start, a chance to change for the better, and begin anew. Never mind that most people forget about their resolutions by the time February is winding down.
Are you like that?
Do you consider your word something to be given seriously, and kept faithfully - even if you've only given your word to yourself? What does a commitment mean, if it's not kept?
Well, it's easy to scold, but I admit it can be hard to stick with something. That's why I think of these things in terms of "goals," not resolutions (for the most part). To have a goal is motivating. To make a promise to yourself or to God and not keep it is much more serious. So I had goals.
I flopped on one item myself, last year. I wanted to study Spanish five days a week. I made it through February, then started getting pretty sketchy.
But I made it with other items. By the end of this month, I will have read Proverbs through once every month for this year (that was a resolution). And I published a book I had been working on since I was 16. That was a goal.
I had a few other goals, but I try to keep it basic. For the most part, I keep things pretty realistic. This isn't a time to dream of what I'd do if I suddenly had 3 extra hours in my day, unlimited funds, and the brain of a genius. This is a time to figure out what God is calling me to pursue this year, and what I can reasonably accomplish if I work hard. Now is the time to figure that out, before the heat of battle makes me tired, nervous, or discouraged. When that time comes, I'll have my goals staring me in the face saying, "You figured this out before hand; you counted the cost. You can do this! You know you can, with God's help! It's not impossible!"
I like to have categories in which to divide my goals; intellectual, spiritual, and physical. Reading through the Bible in one year would be a spiritual and intellectual goal. Working out three times a week would be a physical goal.
These are all examples of positive goals. Not positive in the sense of "good" (though they are good!), but positive in the sense that they require you to take action to fulfill them. They are offensive rather than defensive.
To stretch yourself a little bit this year, I encourage you to try some negative goals in all three areas. You don't just want to add good things to your life; you want to remove those things which are harmful.
So what needs to go? Maybe your goal is to de-clutter your life and get rid of all those items that you really don't need. Maybe you want to stop a bad habit. Is there a certain sin you need to work on and pray against until it is thoroughly conquered? Maybe you want to get rid of certain harmful foods in your diet. Maybe you want to stop being a procrastinator.
So get yourself a blank piece of paper (Or Word Document, if you're on the computer more than you're off). At the top of the page, write "Goals for 2012", and below that make three columns.
Now stop and think. And pray. Envision the past year, and look forward into this one. What do you see that you want to stop? Where do you see God's hand of blessing? What needs to continue?
In the first column, list (let's keep it simple) five things you want to change/stop. Opposite them, in the middle column, write what you want to replace them with. If you're not a morning person, and want to change that, your goal sheet might look like this; "Stop sleeping until 9:00am" "Wake up at 7:00 every weekday morning." In the third column, write the steps that will make it happen; "Set alarm 15 minutes earlier, every third day, until I am getting up at 7:00 regularly."
Put the paper somewhere you'll see it often. Inside the front cover of your Bible? On the wall in your bedroom? At your desk?
I find that goals need to be a mixture of positive and negative to be the most motivating, because our human nature wants to be both offensive and defensive, depending on our mood.
New Year Resolutions aren't a "must." For years I didn't do them. I thought they were only for people who wanted to lose weight. But now I love challenging myself so much that I do month goals as well.
In the Bible, there were many times the nation of Israel took the time to read through God's law and dedicate themselves anew to following it. That ought to be a part of any New Year's goal-setting plan. Of course, the reason Israel did it many times is because they kept failing. And I'll fail, too. But that doesn't need to stop me from trying again. The struggle itself helps you gain strength.
What are some of your goals for the New Year? Are you remembering to consider all areas - Spiritual, Intellectual, and Physical? What do you think of positive and negative goal setting?
If you've been reading my recent blog posts, you know the title for this one came from a post where I started a list of things I was going to talk about, and never made it past "firstly."
My "secondly" thing happened to be about New Years, so I decided to wait until after Christmas to write about it. After all, I'm the one who complains when stores start putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving.
New Years resolutions are the topic of many newspapers, magazines, and blogs this time of year. We all like the feeling of a fresh new start, a chance to change for the better, and begin anew. Never mind that most people forget about their resolutions by the time February is winding down.
Are you like that?
Do you consider your word something to be given seriously, and kept faithfully - even if you've only given your word to yourself? What does a commitment mean, if it's not kept?
Well, it's easy to scold, but I admit it can be hard to stick with something. That's why I think of these things in terms of "goals," not resolutions (for the most part). To have a goal is motivating. To make a promise to yourself or to God and not keep it is much more serious. So I had goals.
I flopped on one item myself, last year. I wanted to study Spanish five days a week. I made it through February, then started getting pretty sketchy.
But I made it with other items. By the end of this month, I will have read Proverbs through once every month for this year (that was a resolution). And I published a book I had been working on since I was 16. That was a goal.
I had a few other goals, but I try to keep it basic. For the most part, I keep things pretty realistic. This isn't a time to dream of what I'd do if I suddenly had 3 extra hours in my day, unlimited funds, and the brain of a genius. This is a time to figure out what God is calling me to pursue this year, and what I can reasonably accomplish if I work hard. Now is the time to figure that out, before the heat of battle makes me tired, nervous, or discouraged. When that time comes, I'll have my goals staring me in the face saying, "You figured this out before hand; you counted the cost. You can do this! You know you can, with God's help! It's not impossible!"
I like to have categories in which to divide my goals; intellectual, spiritual, and physical. Reading through the Bible in one year would be a spiritual and intellectual goal. Working out three times a week would be a physical goal.
These are all examples of positive goals. Not positive in the sense of "good" (though they are good!), but positive in the sense that they require you to take action to fulfill them. They are offensive rather than defensive.
To stretch yourself a little bit this year, I encourage you to try some negative goals in all three areas. You don't just want to add good things to your life; you want to remove those things which are harmful.
So what needs to go? Maybe your goal is to de-clutter your life and get rid of all those items that you really don't need. Maybe you want to stop a bad habit. Is there a certain sin you need to work on and pray against until it is thoroughly conquered? Maybe you want to get rid of certain harmful foods in your diet. Maybe you want to stop being a procrastinator.
So get yourself a blank piece of paper (Or Word Document, if you're on the computer more than you're off). At the top of the page, write "Goals for 2012", and below that make three columns.
Now stop and think. And pray. Envision the past year, and look forward into this one. What do you see that you want to stop? Where do you see God's hand of blessing? What needs to continue?
In the first column, list (let's keep it simple) five things you want to change/stop. Opposite them, in the middle column, write what you want to replace them with. If you're not a morning person, and want to change that, your goal sheet might look like this; "Stop sleeping until 9:00am" "Wake up at 7:00 every weekday morning." In the third column, write the steps that will make it happen; "Set alarm 15 minutes earlier, every third day, until I am getting up at 7:00 regularly."
Put the paper somewhere you'll see it often. Inside the front cover of your Bible? On the wall in your bedroom? At your desk?
I find that goals need to be a mixture of positive and negative to be the most motivating, because our human nature wants to be both offensive and defensive, depending on our mood.
New Year Resolutions aren't a "must." For years I didn't do them. I thought they were only for people who wanted to lose weight. But now I love challenging myself so much that I do month goals as well.
In the Bible, there were many times the nation of Israel took the time to read through God's law and dedicate themselves anew to following it. That ought to be a part of any New Year's goal-setting plan. Of course, the reason Israel did it many times is because they kept failing. And I'll fail, too. But that doesn't need to stop me from trying again. The struggle itself helps you gain strength.
What are some of your goals for the New Year? Are you remembering to consider all areas - Spiritual, Intellectual, and Physical? What do you think of positive and negative goal setting?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
My Christmas Story
Unexpected Gain
Sometimes we must lose to gain.
I was like that. I lost much – and gained more. And it all started when Jesus was born.
I am deeply moved every time I hear someone describe our Lord’s birth. You must understand that, until I was saved, I knew very little about Him. But when I heard about His birth, and where He was born …well, I’ll never forget what I felt.
You see, I own an inn. Or, I did until 5 years ago, when my second son officially became the owner. There was really very little to give him, with business being the way it is, but what is left, he owns. Maybe taxes will go down. Maybe cows will learn to fly.
I remember when, 40 years ago now, all the filthy government mismanagement really began to hurt our income. No one could afford to travel, and when we did have guests, we lost most of our profit to taxes. I thought we would sink.
Until a new census required everyone to travel. Now that tax I liked. We made more money in two weeks than we made the rest of that year. For 14 days straight, every room was full. I concentrated on using our opportunity to the utmost. And that, today, is what I regret.
Thinking back, I remember that, halfway through the first week, we started turning away many people every day. We had two or three rooms that might have held a few more occupants, but I was saving those spaces in the event a rich man was desperate and willing to pay double. You learn tricks like that when you’re in business as long as I was.
Soon there were only two spaces left. The first went to a poor man. He had walked for miles and could pay only half price. I wanted to help him, but I was sure that if I gave him the space, ten very rich, very desperate men would walk in right behind him. I almost said no, but then Caleb entered the inn.
“Look – he’s watching,” my mind whispered. “If you turn this man away, Caleb will tell the town how harsh and greedy you are.” On the other hand, if I had pity, Caleb would note that, too. And being favored by a man as rich as Caleb was a good thing.
So the poor man got a room. I blush now to think how much effort I poured into making the religious crowd see me as something I was not.
Ten minutes later, a young couple showed up. Maybe they had in-laws with them – my memory is blurry now. But I remember the couple. They could pay full price – but no more. I wasn’t about to lose my last space for regular price. Not on a night like that. Not when dozens of people would pay double. It was the one time government was benefitting me, and I intended to profit from the situation. Caleb was gone now. This was my business.
So I turned them away. And tried not to remember that we were Bethlehem’s only inn.
I heard later that our neighbors took them in. Many people were opening their homes and renting rooms for a small fee that month. Apparently our neighbor’s house was already packed, but they let this couple and the group they were with use the stable. They stayed there while waiting their turn to register for the census. All government projects take awhile.
On the second evening, the woman had a child. That’s all I remember about it. I’m sure there were noises, and lights in the wee hours of the morning; but I was running an inn. My wife remembers a group of temple shepherds coming to the door, asking permission to search our stable, but I was busy then, too. I know now that it was not ours, but our neighbor’s stable, that held what they sought.
Those busy weeks were soon over, and life returned to normal. I paid little notice when that couple left the stable and rented a tiny house in our town. A few months later, I hired the man to repair our worn-out front door – now that he was a useful neighbor, I wanted him. He did good work, I paid him, and we occasionally greeted one another in the street after that.
Many more months passed. My own wife gave me a boy – my first born son. He came into the world in a warm room, above the inn. He grew fast, and filled my heart with pride and love, with every coo and gurgle.
Then that awful night came. Only a few hours before sunrise, dozens of riders and terrible snorting horses came thundering down our peaceful streets. I looked out of the window with groggy vision while my wife tried to calm our crying Nathan.
They were pounding on the door, breaking in before I could answer. And then – my heart aches as I remember – they grabbed our little boy. His pudgy hands flailed the air. His big dark eyes tore my heart. The men said something about our king demanding the death of Bethlehem’s children. My wife was shrieking and sobbing as they held her back. I was halfway across the room before I was knocked to the floor. They held me there until it was over. The knife they used killed more than my son; it destroyed my heart.
Life didn’t matter after that. Why should I struggle to live, in a country where leaders could take what was dearest to me, and tear it apart? I did not live. I only existed. I grew old. Other children came, but I loved with fear, expecting to lose. And God? I no longer cared about pleasing Him. If He could let such gruesome wickedness go by unpunished, He could overlook my petty faults. Of this I was sure. He obviously did not hate evil as much as I had thought.
It was 30 years later that I finally understood. We had traveled to Jerusalem for the customary Passover feast, and as we left the city, we walked by the hill of the skull – Jerusalem’s place of execution. We saw the agony of the three men dying on that hill, and looked the other way. We were close enough to hear the gasping breath, and the dying moans. I heard the man on the center cross say, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” and I did not know what to think.
That was the scene God used to bring me to salvation a few months later. Philip visited Bethlehem and told us about Jesus. At first I scoffed, but then I heard that Jesus was the man who forgave while dying. And this Jesus was God’s Son. Images of my infant boy’s lifeless form, and a man’s destroyed body on a cross, mixed in my mind, and I felt pain. So God, too, had a Son who was killed by soldiers. And both the Son and the Father had willed it to be so. For me.
How could this be? Were my sins truly so awful that they demanded such a price? Perhaps God hated evil more than I thought. Did God really love me so much, that He would pay that painful price?
That day, I saw how awful my sins are, and that day they were paid for by the blood of Christ Jesus.
“You know, He was born here, in Bethlehem,” Philip told me later.
My brows raised. The Messiah? Born here?
“It was during a census, thirty-some years ago – I guess you are old enough to remember it.”
Yes, I did.
“His mother tells me she gave birth in a stable,” Philip said.
My tongue thickened and stuck to the roof of my mouth. “Tell me about it,” I croaked.
Can I describe how I felt when I learned how He was born? It did not take long to put the pieces together. To think – God entered the world in my neighbor’s stable, and it could have been my inn! Did ever a man lose so great an opportunity for so small a thing? I might have held Him in my very arms! My grandchildren envy me because I can say I saw Christ in the flesh, but O how much more I might have had! When I sit and ponder how my selfishness put the Son of God in a dirty stable on the night of His birth, I am even more thankful for those words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
To be forgiven by the Almighty is more than I can understand. I still miss my son. But I doubt I would have listened to Philip had I never known such loss. Such is the wisdom of God.
He took my son, so He could give me His.
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