Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Discovery

During our trip to Ashville this summer, I discovered something wonderful.

I discovered the splendor, the wonder, and freedom of days without Internet.

Really. I'm not joking. Those six days I spent without Internet connection shocked me. Shocked me because I wasn't expecting such relief.

I was expecting to be a little frantic. To have withdrawal symptoms. To get home and discover something wonderful (or terrible) had happened online, and I had missed it.

But none of the above happened. Instead, I gained quite a few minutes in my day. I didn't feel a bit guilty about going for days without posting on my blog (though I did wish I had let my readers know that I would be gone!). I didn't worry about emails piling up. ("Oh well, they'll have to sit!") I didn't get headaches from straining my eyes at the computer screen. I didn't get stiff and sore from sitting still too long. For those six days, the only world that existed was the immediate one.

My family - not some other family.

My church - and the new body of believers we met.

My possessions - not the advertised stuff.

My world.

Forget about the 6 trillion people - and their lives - waiting to bombard me from that screen. I can only bare my burden for today - not the burdens of everyone else.

As I hung clothes on the line yesterday morning, I looked at the beauty around me, and recalled that wonderful feeling of freedom. I knew I hadn't posted on my blog since a brief entry on Saturday, but I was outside, ...with clothes whipping in the wind, the faint scent of soap, the wonderful smell of clean air, the sound of birds talking to one another, the background sounds of a small neighborhood - such as a neighbor's car door slamming - , a long grass blade tickling my bare feet... I was so content in just soaking up what my five senses were telling me.

And there was another sense that was satisfied - that sixth sense, deep inside, that says all may be exploding on the other side of the world, but the people I love and care about most are safe, and my God is still on the throne. He will care for that other side of the world, too.

And I realized that I haven't done as much computer work in recent days as I used to. It's worried me a little; I've worried that my blog readers will leave me, or that I'll loose the ability to write what I'm thinking about, or that my friends will get mad at me for not answering their emails sooner (or not commenting on their blogs), or that I'll not complete all the computer work I need to do.

But yesterday morning, I decided that it's all right. I can't do everything. And I'd rather have a peaceful private life, with a few disgruntled friends who will understand when I explain, than have a "public" life with all my duckies in a row and a private life that's miserable.

I plan to start that series soon - the one I keep talking about. Maybe I'll start tomorrow. Maybe it will be the next day. Perhaps the first quality raised for discussion will be "peaceful." :)

I'm about to go off and play music with my siblings. I expect we'll have a bunch of fun together. But just before I go, I offer public apologizes to those of you to whom I owe an email or letter. Yes, you know exactly who you are! I could list names, but be assured I am thinking about each one of you, and...well, I will write when I can.

You have this comfort: at least until I write you, I constantly have you on my mind! :) (I mean that kindly.) :)

What about the rest of you? Do/did you have something in your life that is keeping you from being the peaceful, un-stressed lady you could be? Is/was it keeping you from showing Jesus-like love to others? What did you do/can you do to conquer it? I'd love discussion on this topic.


Alethea Jordan said...

Hey! Don't worry about losing this reader! I look ten times a day(literally!)!

all for Jesus said...

Hi Amber,
I have been reading your blog for a few months and never commented. I have really enjoyed reading about your life. I recently started a blog. I was wondering if you would mind if I put you on my favorite blog list?

Your Sister In Christ
Naomi <><

Amber said...

Welcome to my blog, Naomi! Thank you for commenting - it's nice to hear from folks who are usually quiet. It's encouraging to me. :)

Your are more than welcome to put my blog on your favorite blog list. Thank you very much for wanting to do so - that's very kind of you.

I hope you continue to enjoy your visits here, and I look forward to getting to know you a little by visiting your blog!


Amber said...

Alethea Jordan; you encourage me.

You also amaze me. :)

Sarah said...

I understand very well, Amber, what you are sharing here! These are much of the same thoughts that I have been having over the past several weeks. In an attempt to ‘rectify the situation’, I determined to try to only get on the computer during the morning for a set period of time (this to check blogs, comment, reply to comments on my blog, and if time allows to do a blog post of my own.) You have probably noticed that my blog has been a little quieter as of late! :) And while I do miss posting as much, it has been wonderful to be spending less of my time, energy and thoughts with the internet. Balance is the key! :)

Thank you for sharing this! It was an encouragement to me!

Amanda said...

I often wish we had Internet access at home, for convenience, you know, but sometimes I have a wake-up moment (like I did while reading your post) and I realize how much time it really saves me to *not* have it at home! This way I can get on about once a week and do what I need to do, but I don't spend a valuable hour (or two, or three...) every day!I think all in all it's a pretty good balance. :)