For some time, we've been working on getting matching outfits. I volunteered to take care of making the shirts/ironing on the logos. This performance is our deadline.
Shirts. For 11 players.
What was I thinking? Was I thinking?
Okay - I'm joking. I'm actually have fun doing these shirts. I'm glad the rest of the group is letting me do them. ...But I am definitely feeling the pressure as time ticks away and I still have 6 shirts to finish.
I'm also feeling the pressure of expectation. We found out recently that this festival has been featured on the front page of their local newspaper, along with a photo of The King's Strings. Underneath the photo, amongst descriptions of other attractions there, is the following:
It's strange, ya know. I get SO excited when we get an opportunity to play somewhere. But then I start hoping nobody has too high of expectations of us. After all, we're just amateurs. ...Well, most of us are. Some of our players are quite good. But some of us are just...well, normal.
I said at lunch today that we're Amber-tures. (amateurs) My poor brother, Curtis, the king of good jokes, nearly cried. :):):)
I get afraid, sometimes. Not of performing, exactly...I LOVE that. It's just fear of what folks think of us before we play compared to how they think after we play.
But is that right? Who are we playing for, anyway? Sure, we want to be good at what we do - but WHY? Why is it so important what folks think?
Am I remembering "...playing strings for the King of kings; we are The King's Strings"? Am I wishing that God would make me an expert right away, without going through the growing process of learning to play well?
Oh how fun that would be! Wouldn't it be nice to do something right the first time, without falling on your face, getting up, and trying again?
But what would I learn through that? I know what I'd learn; self-pride and self-reliance. And I'd miss out on the character-formations that happen in the learning process. Do I really want that?
Sigh. No, I guess not. Not in my heart of hearts. But it's tempting, sometimes.