Monday, August 10, 2009

The post I started last night:

I had another one of those "ah-ha" moments today.

...Only it was more like one of those "uh-huh" moments, because I really already knew this...I just was reminded of it again.

Here's what "it" is:

God really did know what He was doing when He gave us mothers and fathers.

Don't shake your head and say "duh." This is one of those things we should never get over!

I received fresh proof of that this week. Last week was extremely difficult for me. I was going through a....dark valley, shall we say. I felt like Christian from Pilgrim's Progress, going through the valley of the shadow of death and vanity fair at the same time. I was in emotional upheaval, and ready to fall apart.

And all of this I kept inside. I didn't share my struggles with anybody - just hugged them to myself and became more and more miserable. Of course I prayed. And of course I asked for help. And of course I ignored one of the biggest helps God gave me; my parents.

It's hard for me to open up with my parents about the way I'm feeling. Oh, not in simple matters. That's easy. We're great friends, after all! But you know what I mean; there are ordinary, everyday talks, there are serious talks, there are deep talks, and then there are THE talks....the ones where you open up yourself so much that it's scary.

'Cause you're vulnerable then, you know. And who likes to feel vulnerable? It's not easy to share my heart with anyone...including my parents. I do it...but not as often as I should. Certainly I hadn't done it in awhile. But God finally nudged me (or should I say pushed me?) into talking with them - and I'm so glad He did!

We had a good long talk. A very deep talk. One where I simply acted as though my parents were what they are - people who love me and are trustworthy. I trusted them with my deepest feelings and thoughts...and they handled them as gently as a mother does her child. (Ever wonder where that saying came from, anyway?)

In doing so, I saw the beautiful truth that I so easily forget; yes, we're most vulnerable when we're open...but we can receive the most when we are that wide open. The walls are down, the doors are completely open, and blessings can pour in.

Some people don't have my problem, of being too closed. They are too open. It's just like humans to be one extreme or the other. With the help of technology, we can share our innermost feelings with the world; facebook, blogs, texting, you name it. Even those who don't do much online can have their own little circle of friends who receive personal information. The world teaches us to "know who we are," and to tell everyone what we know about who we are.

But not everyone handles bare hearts gently. And not everyone is wise. And not every heart that opens wide will receive blessings. Other things can enter instead.

Oh how I wish we girls could learn to make our parents our closest confidants! That's what God gave them to us for. ...I'm writing this assuming that your parents are, like mine, God-fearing and Christ-loving. If they aren't, find yourself some spiritual parents. You need them! Peers just won't do. Yes, we need friends our age, but we also desperately need those older, wiser, gentler hearts to open safely to.

My parents have so much experience and wisdom, and other good things inside them - all mine for the taking! Was there ever so many lavish gifts pours out on more ungrateful people than in the relationship between parents and children? This ought to change! We ought to not only receive from them with grateful hearts, but "mine" them, so to speak, trying to learn all we can from them.

It's strange. The issues I was struggling with are still here. And I'm still a bit upset by them. But I no longer feel like a typical floundering young person, unsure of life. I feel like an adult, ready to face challenges and conquer them for the glory of God!

Where did the change come from? From talking with the guides God has given me! From lining myself up with His plan, even when I was afraid to do so.

Funny, how His ways always work, huh?

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