Tuesday, November 3, 2009

"Confession's good for the soul"

That's one of my dad's sayings. Confession isn't fun, really, but I'd have to agree with Daddy - it's good for you.

Good for me, to be more specific.

I guess my post about being a pack-rat was a good thing. But it started more than I thought it would.

For example, after writing about how much I want to be free of the "love of stuff," I started wondering "how badly do I really want to be like that, anyway?" Was I willing to take drastic measures to be sure I wasn't clinging to "stuff" too tightly?

It was on my mind all yesterday evening. I was a little worried about having too many "things," but I was also worried about my attitude towards those things. ...At least, that's what I to be wanted to be most worried about. Do you know what I mean? I wanted to be most concerned with my heart attitude. I think I was. ...But it's so hard to know your own heart, ya know?

Hmm. Anyway... this afternoon I headed to the basement and dug out every last bit of clothes I own that are in storage, and I also lugged all the contents of my closet down there, so everything would be in one place. Then I proceeded to sort.

Not without praying first, though. I begged God to make me not care about what I had. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted, but I knew I wanted to be free.

Then I sorted.

I won't bore you with all the details, but it was a time of self-examination for me, and I'm not quite happy with what I saw. There was that moment when I dropped that sweater into the "give away" box...the sweater with much sentimental value...the sweater I wore only a handful of times, if that. It wasn't easy to drop it in there.

There was also the moment I remembered one of my younger sisters was in need of winter clothing. There was the moment she pulled that sweater out of the box and it fitted her perfectly.

And there was the moment I put the boxes back....each of them only half-full.

And there was the time I spent talking with my Mom, receiving much wisdom on the topic of beauty - both inner and outer, and how they connect.

Guess what? I'm going shopping tomorrow morning, Lord willing. Clothes shopping. I found out that I actually could use a few items! And I think they'll actually fit in my closet now.

And you know what else? I happened to be reading my Bible just shortly before I got on the computer. Guess what chapter I "happened" to fall upon?

Luke 12.

Read it, if you've possibly can. You might enjoy God's sense of humor, that He should direct me there today, of all days. :)

1 comment:

Melanie said...

Amber,

Wow! Your post was thoroughly convicting. And how timely, that passage of Scripture!! You have challenged me to think about material items that I hold to when I don't even need them. Maybe I'll be going through my closet today...

Melanie :-)