Revamp

Wow.

It's me, blog.

Yeah, I know I haven't written in almost a year and a half. You'll forgive me, won't you? I'm talking to you, blog, because I don't know if anyone else besides me ever visits you.    ...Not that I have done much visiting either, in many months.

It's been a crazy year and a half. I have learned so much about myself - and about life. That's why I'm writing again, as a matter of fact; because I've learned so much. It's all sorta spilling out of my heart, and I need somewhere to share it.

Did you know that you don't stop "growing up" once you hit your twenties? Really. I used to think my major developmental time would be in my teens, and then once I hit my twenties I would be a settled, mature, stable person, without stretching and growing times. Definitely without growing pains.

WRONG.

Now that I'm half-way through my twenties, I'm beginning to think that this is the richest, most difficult, most educational, most exhilarating, most frustrating, most rewarding time of my life. I feel so incredibly blessed despite all the challenges. I have cried many, many tears, and had many sighs and groans, yet I don't regret any of the battles. That's the difference between these adventures and those of my teens. Back then I thought the world was falling apart and I was going to die. Now, it may sound strange, but just being alive, to be able to feel, and be able to fight, to be able to fall on my face, or soar and conquer - either one is a privilege. I'm ALIVE. And I'm on the winning team. That is enough.

I'm sitting here wanting to burst into tears. Maybe it's because I'm sitting here having a conversation with you, like an old friend. Maybe it's because I'm listening to Christmas music in November. Maybe it's because memories from the past two years are flooding over me, and I feel like a veteran looking back at a war and I'm a bit shell-shocked.

Nobody told me life would be this challenging. Nobody told me that things wouldn't go as I planned.

Nobody told me that my heart could hold this much happiness and not burst.

Nobody told me that I could be so stretched and still not break.

What has happened in the last two years? I can't fill you in on everything. It would take too long. Nothing would seem so significant in writing, anyway. But that's the tough part of life, isn't it? The little day-to-day battles. Let's just say I've spent the last little while doing a lot of "being still and knowing that He is God."

What has happened while we've been apart? Well....

- I've said goodbye to several friends, and made many new ones.

- I've come out of my shell that I used to crawl into like a turtle, claiming that my years of battling depression had scarred me and that I couldn't face certain things. My motto this year has been "try as many new things as you can!" It's been thrilling. I feel alive, and I've opened rooms in my brain I didn't know existed. I've found out crazy, funny little things about myself, like that I like coffee, and I thrive on interaction with people, and I love to listen to music, and I don't like strawberry ice cream.

- God has made it possible for me to purchase my own car, (debt-free!) with all the freedom and responsibility that involves. 

- I've made a wedding dress with a friend. We both nearly had a nervous-breakdown doing it, but created memories that are going to stay with us for a lifetime.

- I've started working for other people as well as continuing to be self-employed at my own business (two of them, actually),  and I've discovered I enjoy both worlds. I've grown as a business woman, I think, learning how to be professional with my clients.

- I've become an adopted "big sis" to two girls from a non-Christian broken home, and my heart has been captured. 

- I've known for a long time how to say "no" to myself, but I'm starting to know how to say "no" to other people. Valuable skill!

- I've learned that living on 5 hours of sleep a night actually will slowly kill you, and that 9 hours of sleep is a gift from Heaven. :)  And I discovered what adults have always known - a good sleep routine can make or break your day.

- I've lived in another country for 3 weeks, and absolutely adored it.

- I've begun to learn a new language.

- I've gained a sister-in-law!

Lessons I've learned:

- God's Word is more valuable than I ever thought it was, and time to read it should not be taken for granted, but rather pursued like a lifeline.
- Real, true, strong Christian friends are a blessing that you can't put a price tag on.
- Siblings are to be cherished every moment, because they grown up way too fast.
- Parents do WAY more than they get credit for.
- Being content is a lot more important than looking perfect.

I hope to be back soon, friend, and share more of my life with you. I'm still sewing, cooking, and doing other labors with my hands, but I think this blog name should be changed a little bit - instead of just being about the fruit of my hands, I would be really happy if it could be about the fruit of my life.